12 Days of Skyeward
by My Organized Chaos
Summary: A collection of 12 Christmas one-shots featuring Skyeward! Each one shot is based either on a Christmas song, Tumblr prompt, or both.
1. We Need a Little Christmas

**It's the first day of December so here starts the Christmasing! Admittedly, I already put up my tree last week but I digress. I'm starting a series of Skyeward Christmas one shots, hence the title 12 Days of Skyeward. They will all be based on either a Tumblr prompt, a Christmas song, or both. I will be uploading a story every other day leading up to Christmas, with the last story going up on Christmas Eve. Hope you enjoy, and don't forget to review, follow, and favorite (because let's be honest, that would be the best Christmas gift ever :D)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Agents of SHIELD, Marvel or any of the Christmas songs used in this fic.**

Chapter 1: We Need a Little Christmas

 _Yes, we need a little Christmas_

 _Right this very minute,_

 _It hasn't snowed a single flurry_

 _But Santa, dear, we're in a hurry_

Skye Coulson loved Christmas. Which was the sole reason behind the fact she was blaring Christmas carols the day right after Thanksgiving.

The walls of her small New York apartment echoed with the tunes of Christmas songs, the beat of drums, and the jingling of bells. Some were traditional ballads while others were more upbeat. Nevertheless, they all were coated with the sweet taste of holiday cheer.

Which was probably the reason why Grant Ward hated it so much. All day that day, the thin wall separating his apartment from hers shook from the blare of her damned speakers.

 _It's not even anywhere near Christmas_ , he groaned into his bed. He was trying to get paperwork done but the constant caroling had gotten so ear wrenching he had resorted to burying his head into his bed sheets. Admittedly, he might be a bit biased towards that holiday in particular but that was beside the point. The point was, his obnoxiously attractive neighbor was blaring holiday Christmas carols in November.

Skye had moved into the building six months ago. He was friends with Skye only because she worked at the same company that Fitz and Jemma worked. Between living a couple feet away from another in the same apartment building and Fitz and Jemma being mutual friends, they had spent time together. But none of that time prepared him for the Christmas Extravaganza that seemed to be taking place on the other side of the wall.

 _If I hear Mariah Carey playing one more time_ , he thought, _I'm going to lose my damn mind_. And that's when All I Want for Christmas is You started playing. For the one hundredth time.

With another almighty groan of frustration he pulled himself up from his blanketed cocoon and stomped through the door and toward that of his neighbor's and rapped impatiently. He didn't fail to notice the Christmas wreath already attached to the knocker.

When he didn't hear anyone coming to the door (he figured it was due to the blaring music that blocked out even the voiced in your head) he knocked louder. Finally he heard muffled footsteps through the thick haze of his neighbor's Christmas playlist.

Suddenly, the door swung open so fast that Grant had to take a step back to avoid going into a collision with the wreath ironed wood.

"Hey Grant," Skye, in all her holiday glory, stood in the doorframe blowing a strand of hair out of her face. "Can I help you with something?"

"Yeah, actually, you can." Grant says through the musical instrumental coming from her apartment, "Can you turn down the music? Honestly, it's not even December and the walls are really thin and I can hear every single song you put on so could you at least turn it down? Please?"

"Don't you like Christmas songs?"

"As a matter of fact I do not, especially when they are this early." Grant says with a hint of annoyance.

Skye smirks. Oh God, how that smirk made him breathless inside, he did not know.

"Alright, Scrooge, I'll keep it down. Tell Fitz and Jemma I say 'hi'." And with a wink and a swish of her hair the door slams shut.

With a controlled huff, Grant walks the two-steps to his apartment and busies himself with his paperwork once more. He is glad to hear the lack of caroling and finally relaxes with his reports. Just as he is on the first page (filling out the background of a criminal that his police department had just apprehended) he is startled by the loud sounds of bells.

HAUL OUT THE HOLLY

PUT UP THE TREE

The blaring music shakes the picture frames on the wall between him and Skye. With another loud groan of frustration (Skye seems to pulling a lot of those out of him as of late) he stomps out of his apartment and turns to face her door. While he knocks incessantly, the bells attached to the wreath on her door give off a high, tinkling noise. The door opens immediately, as if Skye had been waiting for him.

"Can I help you?" She asks with a sugary-sweet voice.

"Can you please turn your music down?!"

"Why?" She bats her eyelashes. She has got to be doing this on purpose!

"Because as much as I would like to mask my pain in front of a beautiful woman, your music is too loud and too annoying for me to focus on anything!"

With an ever-present grin on her face, she clucks her tongue gleefully.

"Fine, I'll stop." She concedes. Grant lets out a sigh of relief. "If you go on a date with me."

His newfound relief is gone as fast as it came. "What?" Grant is shocked to say the least.

"Oh come on," She steps forward close enough he can smell her perfume. She even smells like the holidays! "It's only one date. Besides, you did say that you think I'm beautiful and we're friends so why not?" She lets out a breathy laugh.

"I did not." Grant says like a child at which Skye raises an eyebrow. "No, that's not what I meant-"

Another laugh escapes her. "Aw, robot," She says using the nickname she had dubbed him with, "That was too easy. But really, it's only one date."

Grant ponders his options. He can either try to endure the days leading up to Christmas that are, no doubt, going to be loud and filled with the loud jingling of bells, or to just suck it up. A part of him, he later realizes, really wants "suck it up" and just go with her. But you're not really "sucking it up" when you actually do want to do something.

"Fine." He says tightlipped. "When do you want to go?"

"Right now, of course."

Xx 12 Days of Skyeward xX

And that's how Grant finds himself across from Skye at a small café half an hour later. Throughout the course of their date/spontaneous decision that was the result of an ultimatum, he enjoys her company. He had always thought of her as attractive (in fact, he secretly thought she was the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on) and Fitz and Jemma had always joked about there always being some sexual tension between them, but he had tried not to dwell on them.

They talked about their jobs (he was a police officer and she was a computer programmer), and how Rhonda, the waitress that served them, reminded him a bit of his Gramsy.

"Can I ask you something?" She asks after they finish laughing over her story of what happened on a drunken night with Jemma.

"You just did." He smiles through his coffee cup, trying to be coy.

"Haha very funny. But seriously, can I ask you something?"

"Go for it."

"Why do you hate Christmas so much? I know that anyone could get annoyed by it all but with you it seems like something more."

Grant lets out a sigh. Never in a million years did he ever think he would find himself on a coffee date with his lightning storm of a neighbor telling her things about the past that he shut away. But oddly he finds that he wants to.

"It's a long story," He says hesitantly.

"I've still got at least half a cup." She holds up her mug like a salute.

Grant takes a deep. "My family was not made up of good people. There is the exception of Tommy and Gramsy but that's about it. Everyone else was twisted in their own sort of way. My dad was abusive towards us and my mom was an alcoholic who was too busy trying to drink herself to death to give a shit about it. My brother Christian was following in my father's footsteps both in politics and in temperament. It was worse when Christian was abusing us. He-" He fights back the lump in his throat. In all honesty, he is surprised he told her this much without bolting from the room, or worse, he bolting from him.

Skye inches her hand across the table so that she is holding his fingers. Not too tight to be overbearing and pitying, but just enough to know she is there.

"He would make me hurt Tommy. And I did it." Skye's hold spasms slightly. Afraid to look her in the eye, he focuses his gaze on the small pots of poinsettias decorating the surrounding tables.

"On Christmas, my father was hosting a party for all his work friends, for them to see what a perfect life we had." He spits out 'perfect' like it's a nasty word that shouldn't be said when in company.

"He was too busy trying to impress them and my mother was taking tequila shots behind the Christmas bouquets that they didn't see Christian make Tommy and I go outside. There was a well in the backyard and" His voice falters. "And he made me push Tommy in. Tommy couldn't swim and it was so cold and he wouldn't let me pull him out until he was near freezing. Tommy was never the same afterwards. The memory has faded a bit but I can still remember Tommy's screaming being drowned out by the Christmas music playing from the house." He blinks the moisture from eyes, refusing for them to fall.

"Hey, none of that was your fault." Skye finally says, "It is not your fault that you had a shitty family and that they forced you to do fucked up things."

"But I did them, I was the one that hurt Tommy!"

"Because he made you. If he didn't force you to, you wouldn't have done it."

And because she sounds so right and comforting he believes her.

"How did you get out?"

"Gramsy figured out what was going on and she became me and Tommy's guardian. Christian and my father didn't get arrested though, they covered everything up."

After a beat Grant finally regains his voice. "Can I ask you something?"

"You just did." She responds with a smirk, echoing his earlier response.

"Why do _you_ like Christmas so much? We know why I don't like it so why do you feel the opposite?"

Skye plays with his fingers.

"I didn't have the happiest of childhoods either. My parents dumped me on the steps of an orphanage when I was a baby and they never looked back. I spent sixteen years there surrounded by screaming nuns and screaming children who would never get a home. Christmases there weren't the best considering there was never enough of anything. There was never enough affection or love to even go around, let alone gifts. I remember being so jealous of the little kids that got a family that year."

It's Grant that squeezes his hand this time.

"It wasn't until a couple started fostering me when I sixteen that I finally got the family I had always wanted. They officially adopted me on Christmas day." Skye says with a smile. "I may have had some shitty Christmases but that doesn't mean that they all have to be that way. I'm just making the most of all the ones to come."

Xx 12 Days of Skyeward xX

"I had a nice time. " Skye says when they stand in front of their apartment doors.

"Me, too." Grant can't keep the grin from spreading across his face.

"I promise I'll keep the Christmas songs down from now on." She says. "But if you ask me, I don't regret blaring them. After all, we probably wouldn't have done this if I hadn't."

Grant lets out a laugh.

"I think we would have gone on a date eventually, we just didn't know it."

"I'm glad it happened this way."

Skye stands on her tip toes and kisses him on the lips. It's sweet and gentle and everything that the two of them never had when they were younger. All too soon the kiss ends and Skye has a hand on her door knob. From this angle, the wreath on her door is just above her head, almost like a halo.

"Goodnight, Grant." She says softly before slipping inside her apartment.

When he gets inside his own, he still has a smile on his face. Hit with a sudden idea, he goes to his computer and connects it to a pair of speakers that Fitz had left. With the laptop and speakers in hand, he walks over to the wall between him and Skye. After tapping on the keyboard a little, he props the speakers so that they face the wall.

Haul out the holly,

Put up the tree before my spirit falls again…

From the other side of the wall Skye smiles.

 **P.S The café I wrote about for this one-shot is the same café I used in my Begin Again universe**


	2. All I Want for Christmas is You

Chapter 2: All I Want for Christmas is You

 _I just want you for my own_

 _More than you could ever know_

 _Make my wish come true_

 _All I want for Christmas is you_

It was Christmas Eve and Grant still hadn't come back home. Coulson had sent him undercover over a month ago and to say that Skye wasn't very happy about it was putting it lightly.

Missing Thanksgiving was one thing, but Christmas? In Skye's book, that was a line that should never to be crossed. Since he had been gone, Skye had been counting the days awaiting his return. Jemma's chemistry themed countdown to Christmas calendar certainly wasn't helping her.

"Skye!"

Speaking of the scientist, they (mostly Jemma) had been examining remnants of what they had found on their latest mission. Skye had only pretended to be interested in the latest 084 the team had acquired but with Grant gone, even the potential alieness of the item didn't fill the void of her SO.

"Yeah?" Skye snaps out of her reverie.

"Have you heard a single word I've been saying?"

"Sorry, Simmons." Skye says sheepishly. "My mind has been a little bit out of sorts since-"

"Since Ward left?" Jemma finishes for her with a sympathetic smile. When Skye shrugs Simmons continues in a soothing voice, "Don't worry Skye, I'm sure he's fine. I mean, he is Agent Grant Ward after all. Before you know it, he'll be back."

"I guess you're right." Skye tells her even though she can't help but continue to worry.

After a few more minutes of her tinkering with the 084, Simmons announces that she must, "Go and find Fitz so we can sort out this 084 business. Honestly, it's the second one SHIELD has picked up in a month!"

And with that the bubbly scientist trots out of the lab, her lab coat flaring slightly behind her. With a sigh, Skye leans over the table to get a better look at the 084. It was a small red sphere about the size of a marble. If she didn't know better, she would have thought that it _was_ a marble.

 _I wonder where Ward is_ , she muses. Coulson hadn't told the rest of them where Ward was headed because "it's classified, Skye". Against her better judgment, she missed the training sessions that they had. She missed the games of Battleship they played, how he was ticklish behind his ear, and just the safe feeling she could only describe as warm and tangible that she felt through his presence. She had thought that the feeling would go away with time (it's been over a month) , but every morning she is reminded of just how much she misses him when May wakes her up at the crack of frikin dawn to do Tai Chi.

Knowing that Grant was going to be gone for quite a while, Coulson appointed May as her SO until Grant came back. At first there had been tension between them because of certain incidents that had transpired between May and Grant after the Berserker staff. After assuring Skye that it was only sex and nothing in between, which oddly did nothing to comfort her at all, things got better. Surprisingly, the two women managed to get along quite well afterwards. _But if May could stop early morning wake up calls and the bones-deep painful training sessions, they would be peachy for life_ , Skye thought to herself.

Lost in her trance, Skye's hand absentmindedly wanders over to the 084 (or does it slide into her hand of its own will?) and soon she is swirling it between her fingers.

 _I wish Grant would come back_ , Skye wished, _it's Christmas for God's sake_.

When Skye found out that Grant was going to be gone for an unforeseeable amount of time, Skye had had many words with Coulson. "But it's the holidays are coming up Coulson! Don't you people take vacations? Why can't you send someone else?" she had asked him at which he gave a rueful smile before responding, "No rest for the wicked so no rest for the good."

Skye huffed just thinking about it. Suddenly, a strange vibration started rattling the table she had been leaning against all this time. Stepping away from the table in a panic, she realizes that the strange vibration was coming from the 084 that she had been mindlessly playing with. As if things couldn't get worse, the 084 started to emit a strange light from within.

"What the hell?" Skye muttered before the light flashed before her eyes and she knew no more.

Xx 12 Days of Skyeward xX

When she finally comes to, she lies still trying to regain her bearings. All her senses are met with the cold, hard metal floor and the chilly air. Not hearing any sound and overcome by curiosity, she slowly opens her eyes and is met with the sight of a dimly lit artillery room.

"Hello! Where am I?" Skye asks to the empty walls. She inwardly groans at how _goddamn original_ she sounds, note the sarcasm.

Suddenly, the door opens and someone in dark tac gear comes striding in.

"Oh thank God," Skye says in relief, "Listen, I was just with my team and there was this weird 084 and I touched it and it did something and now I'm here and-hey! Are you even listening?"

Just as Skye reaches out to touch their shoulder, the agent in question turns around. Through the dark, Skye can make out his face to realize that it's the person who has been gone for weeks, the one who she has been missing, the one who is supposed to be a secret op somewhere; it's Grant Ward.

"Grant!" She says in disbelief, "When did you get back? You've been gone for weeks, where _are_ we?"

Grant fills up his artillery bag, not paying her any mind.

"Grant!" Skye waves her hand in front of his face. "Grant!"

"Ward!" An agent she does not know calls from the base. "We're about to take off, you better hurry. You know how Hand gets."

"Copy that!" Grant calls.

Skye waves her hands again. "Grant! Grant Douglas Ward! Robot!" Even after she calls him with every nickname she had given him, he still continues to ignore her. Quickly she comes to a chilling realization; he can't see her. _So that's what the 084 did_ , she thinks, _but_ why _?_

Grant zips up his bag and strolls out of the room, Skye close on his heels. They walk out into the main center of what she assumes is a SHIELD base. Grant quickly walks through a corridor that leads to where a quinjet resides ready for takeoff and swiftly makes his way up the cargo ramp where he is greeted by a group of agents in matching tac gear.

"Agent Ward, you made it." Hand emerges from the cluster of agents, "Now that we're all here I still have one final briefing to give." And with a flip of her red-tipped hair she turns to face a monitor ready with a briefing presentation. The scene makes Skye think of the agents as students crowding around a professor who is giving an important lecture.

"Thanks to the intel Agent Ward gathered while undercover the past couple of weeks, we were able to track down a number of important Hydra bases. We are about to head to one after this briefing is over." _Well duh,_ Skye rolls her eyes, _why do you think everyone is on this plane in the first place?_

Skye walks past the agents, rather she walks through them, crowding the monitor and is faced by blueprints of what she assumes is the Hydra base they are about to infiltrate.

"Agent Ward, if you please."

"What we have against us is a base full of highly lethal Hydra agents, whose numbers we do not know." Skye recognizes the cool professional tone of his voice, the mission mode he has slipped into. "The plan is to enter in strike teams of four and to surround the target in question." A picture of a middle aged man appears on the monitor screen. "Dante Roan, benefactor of Cybertech and a higher up in Hydra. Our mission is to bring him and any of Hydra's tech into SHIELD custody. SHIELD wants him alive and the tech intact. Any questions?"

When he is met by none Agent Hand dismisses the agents and instructs them to prepare for takeoff. Before they know it, they are up in the air and headed for the Hydra base.

Skye walks over to Grant and looks at him. Just looks at him. She had never gotten the chance to actually observe him without him noticing. _And now that I'm invisible, it's the perfect time._

She notices how his stance is rigid, more so than normal. Perhaps it's the amount of time he spent on his undercover op or the tension and pressure of the job at hand that makes his so much harder to the world. He stares determinedly at his gun, checking and rechecking the rounds and the safety.

Hesitantly, Skye reaches out a hand to touch her dear SO even when it crosses her mind that he can't feel her let alone see or hear her.

"So Ward," Skye jumps back at the sound of a new voice. "Six weeks undercover tracking Roan, huh? Bet that was hell."

The agent speaking is one she's never seen before. He is dark skinned and handsome with a ready smile on his face. Skye notes that the light in eyes and his friendliness clash with the fire arm strapped to his back.

"Trip!" Grant says in surprise. "Hand didn't tell me you were on this mission."

Trip laughs. "I'm not surprised. The woman isn't really one for encouraging reunions. It's been how long? Nearly a year?"

Grant nods.

"I heard that you got transferred onto a team with Coulson. How is that? Does he live up to the reputation?"

"The only reputation he has succeeded is just how much of a Cap fan he is." Grant says with a small chuckle. Oh how she had missed that sound.

"I've forgotten what it's like, being on a team. You know specialists aren't known for that. How are they with you being away on the holidays?"

"Not well. Last time I was in contact with Coulson, he said that my rookie isn't taking it well." Damn straight. "Being on the team was unexpected. The Calvary is there, two scientists, and an ex-Rising Tide hacker." Trip raises his eyebrows.

"Rising Tide? They've been messing with our ops for years." Skye scoffs. _First of all, those ops were flawed from the beginning and-_

"This one defected over to our side. Coulson assigned me as her SO and I've got to hand it to her, she's good. " Warmth tingles her cheeks.

"What's her name?" Trip asks curiously. Never in all the time he has known him had Grant taken on a rookie, spoke highly of a hacker, and let alone having them be a Rising Tide member.

"Skye, no last name. It was a rocky start but I think she's got potential." Now Skye is feeling really warm.

She and Grant don't notice the knowing smirk Trip has on his face for the rest of the plane ride.

Xx 12 Days of Skyeward xX

"Clear." Grant points his gun around a corner of the Hydra base as Trip covers him.

"Has anyone found Roan?" Grant asks into his coms.

Someone must have responded because Grant says, "Copy that" a beat later.

"He's in the west wing of the base." Grant says, motioning the small strike team to follow him, checking around corners as they go.

All this time, Skye has been following him looking around for anything that doesn't seem right. _What if something is wrong? You won't be able to tell them,_ Skye worries as she remembers that they can't see or hear her goddamnit!

When they finally reach the west wing, they see Roan standing in the middle of room, a circle of SHIELD agents surrounding him, all weapons hot.

"Dante Roan, you are being taken into custody by SHIELD on the grounds that you have funded and have an affiliation to a known terrorist organization. If you resist we will be forced to use any means necessary to subdue you." Grant says articulately.

Roan only smiles which only serves to arouse suspicion in both Skye and Grant. While Grant focuses on Roan, Skye scopes out the room, looking for anything out of place. From the corner of her eye, she sees a flash of black metal and hears a loud shot. For a second, she doesn't realize what has happened because a sudden burst of chaos erupts. The agents all split up to either find any more snipers in the vicinity or to take step closer to the criminal. Skye steps closer only to look down to see Trip kneeling down next to a bleeding Grant Ward.

"Grant!" Skye screams. She hurriedly bends down to try and stop the blood flowing out of the hole in the juncture of his arm pit where the Kevlar vest ended only to find the blood only goes right through her hands. She can vaguely hear Trip yelling for a medevac into his com.

Knowing that she cannot hurt or help the situation due to the state of her lack of physical presence, Skye puts her head across his chest.

"Please don't die," She pleads into his still beating heart. "You still haven't beaten me at Battleship, and May can't be my SO forever. You need to be okay. I will wake up for training extra early and I'll do as many push-ups as you want me to, you just have to be okay. All I want is for you to be okay."

Xx 12 Days of Skyeward xX

"-don't know, I walked into the lab and she was on the floor"

"-084-"

"Are you sure she's—"

Pieces of conversation sneak their way into Skye's ear as she slowly wakes up. Opening her eyes, she blinks back the harsh light shining above her and takes in her surroundings. Again, she is lying on cold metal but this time she is in the lab with Simmons and Coulson.

"Grant." Skye coughs. Her voice is sore and constricted.

"Skye!" Simmons sees that Skye's is awake and immediately rushes over to check her vitals.

"What happened? Where's Grant?" Skye rasps.

"The 084 reacted, Skye, we don't know why. All we know is that when we found you, you were lying unconscious. It's been hours since."

"What about Grant?" Skye says worriedly. All she remembers is the mission, him being shot, her literally not being able to do anything…..

"Ward is on his way back." Coulson says. "Something happened on the op that's making him come back early."

"Grant was shot, Roan did he-"

"Skye, how do you know that?" Coulson asks. That information in itself was classified and Skye had been unconscious for over five hours.

"Coulson, I-" She is interrupted by the sound of the cargo hold opening. Soon, a familiar figure, still in tac gear with his arm in a sling, walks onto the BUS. Seeing him alright and well and _here_ , _actually here_ , Skye rips off the wires connecting her to the vitals monitor and jumps off the lab table (much to Simmons's and Coulson's protests) and runs over to Grant.

"Grant!" She dives into him which causes him to take a step back so that they don't fall over. She puts her arms around him,

"How did you get out? Roan, the op, you got shot again!"

Simmons runs from the lab into the cargo hold, Coulson close on her heels.

"Skye, I'm okay. Look," He takes his hand into hers, "I'm fine, I'm here. Wait a minute, Coulson told you about Dante Roan?"

"No, I didn't." Coulson says, "Skye did you hack into the mission records?" Deep down, Coulson knows she didn't, she has been unconscious after all.

"Skye, you need to get back into the lab right now! We don't know what kind of effects the 084 could have on you." Simmons tells her.

"084?! Skye, what happened?" Grant asks. If he wasn't such a well-trained specialist, you could have sensed the note of panic in his voice.

"Skye, what is going on?" Coulson asks as he pinches the bridge of his nose. This has been too much _this close_ to the holidays.

After agreeing to let Grant settle in and to let Simmons give Skye one final check-up, the team gathers in the lounge amongst the Christmas decorations (Skye and Fitz's doing) and Skye explains what happened with the 084. Theories are thrown around between Fitzsimons while May and Coulson decide what they should do with the offending object. Soon they leave all go down to the lab to have another look at the 084, leaving Grant and Skye alone.

"I've heard Fitzsimmons's theories," Grant says. "What are yours?"

Skye turns her body slightly in order to face him. They had sat on one of the smaller couches, causing Skye to almost be sitting on top of his lap with his good arm thrown around her shoulder resting casually against the couch and her legs lying on top of his.

"Honestly," She really is very comfortable in this position, "I think-I think the 084 brings you to whatever you are missing most.

Grant's brow furrows slightly in confusion. "Why do you think that?"

"Before, the 084 did its weird alien voodoo, I was thinking about you." Grant smiles slightly at which Skye gently pushes him. "Not like that, robot! I was thinking of how much I was missing you! I think that's why it brought me there to you."

"I missed you, too." He whispers into her hair planting a gentle kiss onto her head. "I wish you didn't have to see that op, though. I don't want you to have to experience something like that."

"I won't, not while I have my amazing SO with me."

After a minute of silence, Skye quietly says, "Never go on another mission for that long again. With you gone, and May's relentless training, I don't think I could stand it. Honestly, that woman is a frikin ninja, don't be surprised when you come back and you find me bedridden."

"I promise," he tells her with a small smile as he seals his promise with a kiss to her lips.

All in all, it was a pretty interesting Christmas.


	3. Christmases When You Were Mine

**This one-shot is coming in two parts so this is Skye's POV. The next one-shot (I Want to Come Home for Christmas) will be in Grant's POV.**

 **So a little backstory behind this: This takes place after season 1 before season 2 but Skye already knows Lincoln. They were friends before (how they met etc. is up to you) Skye ran away to join the Rising Tide and now he has found her at SHIELD which he joins so he can stay close to her aka because he's in love with her.**

Chapter 4: Christmases When You Were Mine

 _I've been doing fine without you, really  
Up until the nights got cold  
And everybody's here, except you, baby  
Seems like everyone's got someone to hold  
But for me it's just a lonely time  
Cause there were Christmases when you were mine_

Its Christmas at the base and for once, everyone has let go of their inhibitions and their weights. Fitzsimmons have been inching closer and closer under the mistletoe while Hunter and Bobbi look as if they are about to jump the other. Even Lincoln is giving her longing looks from across the room. Everyone except for Skye.

All the Christmas lights flicker slowly and Skye remembers when she had been putting them up with Fitzsimmons. They had all laughed when Fitz reiterated their need for a monkey ("Think about it, Jemma, it could put up these lights in no time with its wee little hands" and she had gotten so caught up in the moment that as she turned to look to her side, she had said "Aw come on Fitz, that's why we have Robot over here."

But he wasn't there. He hadn't been there for a while. Fitzsimmons exchanged looks before busying themselves with the tangle of lights at their feet while Skye silently kicked herself. The rest of the night was spent with Fitzsimmons trying, and failing, to erase the awkwardness.

Skye looks over from the lights to May and Coulson who are sitting silently in the corner sipping a bottle of beer each. They notice her staring and she quickly pastes a smile to her face. Fitzsimmons no doubt told them about her little slip up because since then they've been giving her pitying looks. May had even offered to become her SO. Skye had told her that she would think about it.

Soon, she hears the sound of heavy footsteps behind her. For a second she wishes that it was Grant coming over to put his arms around her but she quickly shakes it off. It's not him walking over, the footsteps are too heavy. Grant always did walk lightly, after all, he was a specialist. _And a damn good one,_ Skye thinks bitterly. When she finally turns around, she is met with Lincoln's smiling face.

"Hey." He says cheerily.

Skye smiles weakly. Lincoln is too good for her, he always had been. When he came back into her life she was glad. Hydra had just come out from the shadows, Grant had just been taken into custody and she didn't know what to do. Lincoln had been one of the few friends she had had before SHIELD that understood her, understood what it felt like to have pieces missing.

But so much had happened between the time she last saw him and when he came back that he didn't understand her anymore. She had found the piece that completed her puzzle but it had gone away to complete a different one. And all it left her with was a gaping hole in the middle.

"Some party, huh. Makes me wish that I had joined sooner." It's true that Lincoln had joined SHIELD shortly after he arrived. Coulson couldn't exactly say no, they were in dire need of more agents. And plus, Lincoln was a doctor and heavens knew that they needed more of those if SHIELD continued going on missions that they just weren't equipped for.

"Trust me, they were much different then what it is now." And it's true. SHIELD had been a place that held an almost fairy tale aspect to it. Heroes saving the kingdom, villains who were so evil that it was okay to see the world in black and white. Or maybe it was just the knight in black Kevlar she had met that made her feel that way. Nowadays, it was like a curse had been cast upon them all leaving them struggling to fight even the smallest of villains.

"Do you want to get out of here?" Lincoln asks suddenly.

"To do what?" Skye asks a bit warily.

"Just to talk." He says honestly.

And because Lincoln is too sweet and he's always been there for her and she's too damn impulsive and she just needs to get Grant Ward off her mind _for just one second_ she says yes.

Lincoln's eyes go wide in surprise that she actually said yes and in happiness that she did.

So they walk off to a cozy little couch in the corner and they talk. And the conversation is nice. They speak of SHIELD, of Lincoln's med school days, of how everything used to be. Somewhere in the conversation Skye actually thinks that they are where they were all those years ago.

It's not until Lincoln starts leaning towards her and his lips are on hers that she knows that all this time he didn't just hope that they could talk. Maybe it's the alcohol in her veins or her mere will to spite everything about her past lover and to move on that makes her kiss him back. Whatever reason it may have been its gone now that his lips are on hers.

Because it feels wrong. His lips aren't Grant's, he isn't warm like he was, his hands don't grip her hips like his did, and the simple fact that Lincoln Campbell is no Grant Ward.

Skye puts her hands on Lincoln's chest and gently pushes him back. Lincoln immediately gets the message and breaks the kiss and looks at her with one of the saddest looks she has ever seen. It's not even out of rejection, it's like he's just disappointed.

"I knew it." He says. "I wanted to think that you were over him but it looks like I was wrong."

Skye doesn't even need to ask who he is talking about.

"I'm sorry." Skye whispers.

"Why are you still hung up on him?" Lincoln asks, a hint of frustration tainting his normally cheery voice.

"I don't know." She says quietly.

"Skye, can I be honest for a minute?"

Skye looks up and nods at him and twists her fingers together anxiously.

"Don't you think that if he really loved you like he said he did-don't you think he would have chosen you over Garrett?"

Upon seeing the look on her face Lincoln knows he made a low blow. It's not before long Skye is getting up in a haste and running out of the room with Lincoln on her tail.

"Skye!" He calls after her in the corridor. She has her hands fumbling on the doorknob that leads to her bunk. When she realizes that Lincoln isn't just going to leave, she presses her forehead against the door.

"You want to know why I can't get over him?" Skye asks through the lump in her throat. Not giving him a chance to answer she continues on anyway. "It's because I loved him. I still do. And it frikin sucks because what you said is true. Because if Grant-if he loved me like I love him-he wouldn't have chosen Garrett. And maybe it's my fault for not noticing that I came second in his life but the truth of the matter right now is that he made his choice. And now I have to try to make mine."

And with that she slips through her door and slams it shut behind her.

Xx 12 Days of Skyeward xX

When everyone has gone to sleep, Skye tosses and turns in her bed made for two, unable to fall asleep. She's noticed that she hasn't been able to fall asleep at all lately.

During the day, it's easier for her to pretend like Grant was never in her life. She's able to keep herself busy with the punching bag, missions, and surrounding herself with the new members of the team, but at night…that's a whole different story.

At night the memories all bombard her with no distractions to shield her from them. She can't seem to run away from them because the memories soon paste themselves to the back of her eyelids and she is left with images of _him_ when she falls asleep. And she finds that she enjoys them.

She enjoys the dreams (no matter how short they are) she has of her and Grant and of the rest of the Team back when everything was okay. She misses the way that things used to be and the only way to get a glimpse of them is to succumb to sleep.

It's the morning afterwards that her mind screams obscenities at her because it's over! It's done! There is no changing what happened. So Skye walks to the bathroom and washes away the tears that slip past her mask and she simply puts on a new one.

But she can't help that she feels like this. This lonely void has been put inside her and no matter how hard she has tried she can't seem to fill it.

Skye sits up in her bed and vaguely wonders how it would be like if Grant were here with her, if he hadn't betrayed them. Maybe he would have helped them decorate the base with lights, maybe he would have tried to get her under mistletoe just so he would have a reason to kiss her. Maybe he would be in bed wrapped around her, protecting her from the cold. Maybe they would have had hopes for more Christmases like that, maybe this time with just the two of them.

Tears slowly trek a path down her cheeks as the sound of the howling wind makes itself the soundtrack of her life. After the final tear falls, Skye wipes the moisture from her face with the back of her hand. Taking a deep breath, Skye realizes that this can't go on. She can't keep chasing her dreams when reality is so against them. She swallows hard when she finally makes her decision, finally realizes what she must do.

Silently, she gets out from her bed and pulls on an oversized sweater over the clothes she had worn earlier that night (when Skye had gone to bed she hadn't even bothered changing into pajamas) and pads her way through the door.

The base is silent at night, she notices, unnaturally so. There are still some lights that flicker feebly, creating a haunting aura about the place.

Skye quickens her pace to the cold, metal door at the end of the hallway. As if what she is doing is forbidden (it is in her book), she looks around nervously to see if anyone is up and wandering the halls.

Reassured that no one is there to catch her, Skye turns the large handle and opens the vault door with a creak.

 _This will be quick,_ she thinks, _you will be fine. Its only closure after all._

 **To be continued, I promise**

 **PS: Christmases When You Were Mine is one of my favorite songs ever**


	4. I Want to Come Home for Christmas

**Continuation of Christmases When You Were Mine, Ward's POV. I would like to dedicate this chapter to the character of Grant Ward that died a year ago. I just hope that in another universe your character's ending was better and that you filled your full potential. On another note, I am 1/3 of the way finished with 12 Days of Skyeward!**

 **TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS AND DETAILS OF ATTEMPTS OF SUICIDE**

Chapter 4: I Want to Come Home for Christmas

 _'Cause I'm a prisoner of war  
Lying here in my cell  
Hoping my family is well_

Below the Playground in a cell buried deep into the ground lay Grant Ward. Laying on his back he completed one of his only available past times; counting the ceiling tiles (there were 2,794). He had been in this cell for so long that the days had begun to blur together. It was only because he got a glance at the date on an agent's electronic tablet that he knew it was Christmas.

The agent in question had come in to give him his monthly physical. These check-ups had started after he had tried to commit suicide. He had been in a very dark place at the time and everything had all just hit him at once. What he did, who he lost in the process, not knowing who he is supposed to be all were all things that he couldn't cope with. He tried to compartmentalize it like he was taught too but he found he couldn't. Or he just didn't know how to anymore.

So he did what every specialist did in the stories that instructors warned new recruits with; he attempted to take his own life. He slashed his wrists, he ran at the walls, everything about it was crude and calculated just like specialists were trained to be. The only reason why he wasn't dead was because the agent monitoring his cell caught him before he could succumb to the damage.

Since then he was seeing, rather the psychiatrist was seeing him, once a week. Grant was shocked that he was receiving medical attention. Based on his experience as a SHIELD agent, he was surprised that they didn't just leave him down to rot, that's what Hydra would have done. _Don't want their only source of intel dying down here do they,_ Grant had scoffed at the time. Back then he was still bitter toward SHIELD about how they just wouldn't understand what he was going through.

His psychiatrist had said that he had been emotionally abused almost to the point of no return. _Having such bad influences,_ Dr. Garner had said, _as your only form of socialization caused you to be unable to differentiate between right and wrong. Being so young, your brain was still developing these concepts. Since John Garrett and your family was your only source of contact, your decision making is wired to be like them, to fit_ their _needs. Think of it as a form of brainwashing, if you will._ **(AN: I don't know if this can actually happen, I am not a doctor, this is just how I'm giving a reason behind Ward's actions for the sake of the story)**

The other agent that was checking up on him, Agent Campbell, Grant had also gotten a look at his lanyard, seemed new. From the gleam that was still in his eyes to the way he still had the awkwardness to him that showed he was still new to the secret life of a government agent.

In some ways he reminded Grant of Skye from their time with the team. Admittedly, he hadn't seen her since he was taken into custody, according to Coulson, she had refused to see him. Sometimes he is glad that he hasn't seen her. That small part in his mind longs to remember her as she was with him; young, light, and carefree. Much like that new agent. But the rest of him aches to see just a glimpse of her, to know that she is okay.

He wonders how she is, how she's coping. He prays to a god that he doesn't believe in that she's been coping better than he has. He wonders if she has moved on. Some parts of him hopes that she does, that Skye forgets how much he's hurt her and gives her love to someone who deserves it.

Some days he thinks of the team. _Maybe they have new members,_ he laments, _maybe some of them left._ Deep down he knows that's not true, none of them would ever leave. They believe in SHIELD's ideals too much.

He wonders if they are celebrating Christmas above him. _Skye always did love that holiday_ , he smiles sadly. They never got to spend one together and he always pretended to hate it but honestly? He grew to love it because she loved it. Because he loved her. _I still do_ , he thinks to the universe, _with every fiber of my being I still do._ He wonders if Skye put up decorations, if Fitzsimmons finally got together under mistletoe, if May cracked a smile just for the holidays.

Suddenly his thoughts are interrupted by a loud creak. Slowly, he rises from his cot his senses alert. Soft, hesitant footsteps patter their way down the stone steps as if they are in a hurry. His concern only heightens when the barrier clears and the person coming into his cell is revealed to be the one person he has been missing; it's Skye.

Looking at her now after months of not even catching a glimpse is like the stars are aligning and his world has finally regained orbit. She's different than he's remembered her though. There is a hardness in her eyes that wasn't there before and her body is poised as if she is about to take flight at any moment. But of course she has changed in one way or another, did he really think that she would walk out of SHIELD's ordeal unscathed? She is many things, incredibly strong being one of them, but no one is invincible. Not even her.

He supposed she fell so hard because he put her up on such a high pedestal. Grant had assumed that if he was going to be there to protect her she wouldn't have to be exposed to the dangers of the world. Oh how wrong he was.

He gauges her face closely and sees the bags under her eyes that quickly send sharp pains to his heart.

"Skye." He chokes out. He hadn't had a proper conversation with someone in months. Dr. Garner didn't count, their conversations consisted mostly of him talking and Grant nodding every minute or so.

Skye stiffly walks over to the chair in the center of the room and sits herself down in it. For a long time she sits there and just looks at him with an expression that Grant can't quite place. It could easily by classified as confusion, and hate but there's something else that makes her look like a ghost of who she once was.

If someone was in the room with them they would feel the tension rolling off their backs in waves.

"Why did you do it?" Skye asks quietly.

"Skye," Grant says again. He finds her name is the only thing he _can_ say after so long.

"Why did you do it?" She asks again, this time through gritted teeth.

"Garrett was the only person I had cared about at the time." The honest answer rolls so easily off his lips, it's the same answer he's been giving to everyone that had interrogated him.

"At the time?" She releases an emotionless laugh. "That's rich, coming from you. Did you even mean it when you said that what we had was real? Or was that just another lie?"

Grant finally grasps more words. "It's true that for a long period of time the only person that mattered to me was Garrett. No one else held a candle to him. But Skye, I meant what I said when I told you that my feelings for you were real-they are still real. Because when I joined the team and I met you I couldn't help but fall in love with you. And I'm so goddamn sorry that I hurt you. I swore I never would and I broke that along with what you, me, and the team had."

Skye looks down at the floor as her breath hitches. Taking a deep breath, she tries to maintain the mask she has perfected over the last couple of months.

"You don't have to believe everything I tell you but please believe that I love you and I will never lie to you again."

"I want to believe that, Ward. Really." Skye blinks her eyes quickly as her gaze falters. "But I can't. Because you chose Garrett over me. You could have had me, _you already had me_ , but you chose that psychopath. I gave you a chance and you threw it away just like you did me."

"And I regret it every day! I wish that I could go and change it but I can't!" Frustrated, he brings his hands up to fist his fingers in his hair.

Skye's face jerks up to face him and suddenly her eyes go wide. Suddenly she is rising from the chair hesitantly and is taking down the barrier that separates them. With slow movements, she steps carefully toward him still with that unsettling, wide-eyed look on her face. Soon she is in front of him her eyes boring into his.

Grant holds his breath in awe. It's been so long since she's been this close to him and his senses are running on overdrive wanting to drown in her.

Her hands drift up until they are pushing away the hair laying on his forehead. Her nimble fingers stroke the skin there and slowly trail a path down all the way to his arm. As her hand grips his wrist lightly, she pushes him back until the back of his knees are hitting his cot. Before he knows it, he is sitting down with her in front of him and his eyes flutter shut. She is close enough for him to feel her warmth and to breathe in her scent and it's enough to make his mind shut down. Oh how he longs to kiss her in that moment.

It's not until she turns his wrist to trail a finger along the jagged scar that he knows what brought this on.

"They never told you did they?" Grants asks softly. He opens his eyes and he is met with his own glassy reflection.

She slowly shakes her head.

"Everything I had known had fallen apart. I didn't know what to be without John. He was _everything_ to me and he was gone."

At the mention of Garrett, Skye's hold on him loosens.

"Why haven't you come to see me?" The question that had been hanging off his lips for ages just leaps out.

Skye looks down at her fingers on his skin.

"I didn't know what to say." She says, a sob threatening to escape her throat. "I wasn't ready to see you down here when I thought—when I thought that things could have been different."

As if she is about to break (Grant is afraid that she is on the verge) he hesitantly takes her hand into his. She flinches but she doesn't pull her hand away.

"Please tell me that Coulson is doing something to help you." Skye pleads.

He nods. "I've been seeing a psychiatrist lately."

"Dr. Garner?" Skye asks almost knowingly. At Grant's curious expression she says gently, "You're not the only one who hasn't been coping well."

"Skye—"

"He's May's ex-husband. She's been making me see him every once in a while." She winces afterward, realizing that she probably shouldn't be telling him that.

"A-a doctor has been checking up on me, too." He stumbles, "You know," he chuckles to try and ease the tension, "You really should train your new agents better, I can tell that Campbell is new at this."

"Campbell?" Skye asks with a frown on her face. "Lincoln hasn't, he wouldn't—Lincoln would have told me about…."

Grant sees the gears turning in her mind and he can't help but feel jealous and protective. Another line of questions are added to his list as he wonders who Lincoln is and what he means to the woman who loves. He wonders if she cares for him (based on her reaction to Lincoln keeping his suicide attempt from her, he doesn't doubt she does) and if he cares for her (how could somebody not?).

He feels tendrils of the Berserker rage rise at the thought that Lincoln has now hurt her. _But then again, so did you_ , he thinks.

All this time, Grant had thought that the most painful thing he had ever felt was seeing Skye bleeding out on the floor and losing John (he still can't decide which felt worse). Now he knows better. The greatest pain he has ever felt was seeing Skye potentially move on with someone else.

For the hundredth time, he mutters a small apology to her for everything. That he betrayed her, that SHIELD fell apart, that he can't be there with her, that someone hurt her, everything.

"I am, too." Is all she says.

After a beat, Skye slowly pries his hand from hers and backs out of the room. Grant can only stare as she leaves him for the second time. As the opaque barrier goes up, he can't help but think that's not necessarily true. _You were the one that left her first._

On either side of the barrier separating them, both Grant and Skye release the tears they had been holding. They both vaguely think that the two of them never would have ended well and maybe they were doomed from the start.

After all, they were only star crossed lovers of a war with only one winner.


	5. Baby, It's Cold Outside

**So sorry this is late! Slow writing days and school work can really weigh a person down. And I'm pretty sure my teachers are determined to pile on as much homework and tests before break.**

Chapter 5: Baby, It's Cold Outside

 _(I've got to go away) But, baby, it's cold outside_

 _(This evening has been) Been hoping that you'd drop in_

 _(So very nice) I'll hold your hands they're just like ice_

When Skye awoke, it was because she felt unnaturally warm, which was strange considering it was the middle of December. Chastising herself at forgetting to close the blinds she rolled over determined to go back to sleep only to face none other than Grant Ward. Looking at it now, between the sunlight streaming in from the window, the comforters wrapped around her body, and his arm wrapped around her, it wasn't a surprise that she was a bit toasty.

Skye sucked in a breath as her eyes grew wide. Looking down underneath the sheets she realized that she was naked and based on his bare shoulders peeking beneath the sheets he was too.

 _Oh God_ , she thought.

Cautiously, she gets out of the bed as not to wake the man lying in it. Jumping slightly when her bare feet hits the cold floor, she lets a small curse escape her. Quickly she pulls on the nearest item of clothing, which incidentally, just happens to be his shirt from the night before.

Slowly, she treads her way from the bedroom and into the living room. It doesn't escape her that in order to get from that room to there she only had to follow the trail of clothes lying haphazardly on the floor. Looking around the small safe house, Skye observes that it is a cozy, cabin style house.

She would have taken the time to examine it earlier but given her "activities" the night before she never got the chance. She was too preoccupied with a warm mouth on hers, hands that were gliding across her whole body and—

Skye shakes herself out of it. _What the hell happened last night_ , she asks herself rhetorically.

But she knows what happened, from the mission, to the fears of almost dying, to the heat coursing through her….

24 Hours Ago

"Our target is Max Taylor, a known benefactor of Cybertech." Coulson says as a picture of Taylor appears above the holotable. At first glance, Max Taylor seemed like a friendly face for the picture displayed was of him with an easy smile. But upon closer inspection, Skye noticed that the smile seemed plastered onto his face and it didn't quite reach his eyes. In fact, his eyes contained the kind of glint you see from someone who enjoyed something they weren't supposed to.

"Based on our intel," Coulson continued, "He's been funding Cybertech for years and is responsible for their latest shipment of nuclear weapons. Our job is to infiltrate the Christmas party he is having tonight so we can make sure the launch codes never see the light of day."

"And how are we going to do that?" Grant asks with an arched brow. Coulson nods his head over to Skye.

"With this." Skye holds up a flash drive gleefully. "Once this baby is plugged into a computer connected to Taylor's mainframe it will transmit a virus that will corrupt his whole server. Then he can say 'goodbye' to those launch codes."

"It's quite genius actually," Fitz pips in, "While it transmits the virus its exchanges it for all his data—"

"Which means that we're getting all of his intel and all he's getting is a nasty computer virus." Simmons finishes.

"So all I have to do is plug in the drive and mission accomplished?" Grants asks skeptically. Missions are never this easy.

"Not just you; Skye's going with you."

"What?" Grant and Skye both ask at the same time.

"Why can't May go in instead?" Grant asks.

"He already knows my face." May says bitterly. Intimidated by the glare she is sending toward the picture of Max Taylor no one dares to ask her for clarification.

"Fitzsimmons will be running coms while May and I will be your back up if needed. This is a highly sensitive op so hopefully you won't need us."

After the team all nods their affirmations, Simmons quickly whisks Skye away to get ready because "Party attire requires preparation, Agent Ward."

Fitz leaves to go back to the lab, albeit a little grumpily, and May goes back to the cockpit leaving Grant and Coulson standing in the middle of the briefing room.

"Sir, I don't think Skye should go on this mission."

"I don't either but she's the only one who can, May would be compromised and Simmons isn't cleared for combat and has no training."

"Why can't I go in and do it myself?"

"Skye is the only one who can hack into the mainframe to transmit the virus. Trust me, I don't want her going on this mission just as much as you don't but it's unavoidable. But if worst comes to worst, you get her out of there and forget the mission."

"Yes sir."

A few hours later, Grant and the team impatiently wait for Skye to come down to the cargo hold. He is about to check up on her to make sure that Simmons isn't holding her hostage when she appears at the top of the stairwell clad in a deep red dress that does things to his mind that he doesn't dare to voice.

As she starts her descent down the stairs, he notices her leg peeking out through a slit in the dress. Her hair is pushed to one side while her ears and neck are adorned with diamonds.

"You look nice." He calls to mind his training.

"I can say the same thing about you, you definitely clean up nice." She pokes at the lapel of his tux.

Simmons scampers her way down the stairwell with the flash drive in her hand.

"Skye!" She calls, "Here's the drive!"

Skye quickly tucks in the drive into a small holster strapped to her thigh and makes her way down to the car they had rented for the mission.

"A snow storm is coming soon so if you can't make it back to the BUS, there's a safe house where you can stay at until you can extraction to come get you." Coulson tells them.

With a hug goodbye, Skye and Grant enter the car and begin the drive to their target's mansion.

Throughout the car ride, Skye had been fidgeting with her hands nervously. She knows that Grant had taken notice because he kept glancing at her from the corner of his eye. When they finally park the car a few minutes away from their target's mansion, he takes her hands into his.

"Hey," Grant says gently, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, just nervous I guess. It's my first mission after the whole Quinn thing I'm just a little jumpy is all." Skye's hand unconsciously flutters over to her stomach where the two scars reside.

"Skye," He tilts her chin to face him better, "Nothing like that is going to happen again."

"How are you so sure?" She looks up at him through her lashes, her eyes wide with worry.

"Because this time I'll be there with you, you don't have anything to worry about." When the doubt doesn't leave her eyes, he grips her hand tighter, "Skye, I promise you'll be alright."

No one pays any mind when Skye and Grant enter the massive ballroom. That's a lie actually, all the woman start to ogle Grant while the men openly stare at Skye as they walk past. With a neadertholic growl, he wraps his arm a little tighter around Skye's waist.

"What's with the sound effects, Robot?" Skye whispers into his ear with a small smile. "Did you finally blow a circuit?"

"It's for the sake of the op," Grant justifies. That's a lie. "Tom Darigan is in love with his wife, he's the jealous type." Not entirely a lie.

"Oh yes," Skye coos, "Tom and Emma Darigan a wealthy young couple bored and looking for something to invest in blah blah blah."

"Shush, someone will hear."

"Did you just shush me, _Tom_?" She asks with a smirk.

"Not at all _Emma_ , I was just about to ask if you would like to dance." Grant inclines his head slightly towards Max Taylor who has just joined someone on the dance floor.

Skye's eyes widen in understanding. "Of course, darling, I thought you'd never ask." He arches an eyebrow at the endearment at which Skye just smiles.

Soon they are weaving between the crowd along to the slow tune of the Christmas music playing.

Pretending he is whispering something romantic, he leans in until his lips are smidgens away from the shell of her ear.

"We'll sneak off to find the computer mainframe when Taylor delivers his speech." His warm breath on her skin sends shivers down her bare spine.

For show, Skye smiles and stands on the tips of her toes to reach his ear.

"And until then?"

"We just have to keep an eye on him."

The rest of the night goes by in blur by the time Taylor is delivering his speech. He says something about his company's research being at the very _apex_ of a discovery thanks to generous "donations" before Skye tunes him out and waits for Grant's signal. She swears, she's heard the same speech by every bad guy out there.

Soon enough, she feels him squeeze her hand, signaling for them to sneak away. Putting on the face of a young couple hardly able to wait to go at each other, they scurry their way out of the ballroom and down an adjacent hallway.

When they verify that they are safe from prying eyes, they turn on their coms only to have Fitzsimmons' voices jabbering on about the importance of a monkey.

"Guys!" Skye says into the com, "The mission?"

"Oh yes, well, it's about time." Fitz says. "You know we've been waiting a couple hours you could have—"

"Fitz," Grant pinches the bridge of his nose. "Where's the server room?"

"Oh yes!" Fitz pips, "It should be at the very end of the hall on your right."

"Copy that." Skye and Grant make their way to the door which they find, unsurprisingly, is locked. Before Grant can even blink, it's unlocked by Fitzsimmons and they quickly go into the room and shut the door behind them.

"Alright Fitz, we've got it from here. Commencing radio silence."

"Be careful!" Simmons voice reaches through the com.

Once they turn the coms off, Skye goes to the nearest computer and reaches for the thin holster wrapped around her high to unstrap the small flash drive (Grant is trying very hard to focus on anything but her enticing legs).

"Okay, so all I have to do is hack into the server and plug in the drive. No biggie." Even while saying that, she can't help the small twinge of worry to lace her voice.

"I'll keep a look out." Grant reassures her as her fingers begin tapping away at the keyboard.

However, as soon as the virus is about finished exporting, loud red alarms suddenly start ringing.

Grant lets out a few choice words that are inaudible over the loud blaring. Soon he strides over and wraps his hand around her arm telling her that they need to leave.

"No, Grant! It's almost done, who knows when we will get another chance to intercept the launch codes!"

"Skye, I need to get you out of here." He pleads.

"And you will once this has finished." She says stubbornly.

"Skye—"

"Grant. You would do the same thing."

And because he knows she is right and he can never deny her anything he stays watching guard over her. After what seems to be the most excruciating minutes of Grant's life, the virus finally finishes transmitting and Grant is hauling Skye to her feet and dashing to the door. Only to be met by a handful of guards. Grant takes them down quickly (he's the best since Romanoff for a reason) and looks back at Skye who is holding her heeled shoe in her hand like a weapon.

They quickly leave through a back entrance and walk toward the car without meeting any more security guards. The air is chilly and snowflakes soon cloud the windshield as they drive.

"We'll have to go the safe house and wait out the storm." Says Grant. He looks over at Skye and only sees her nod, her face staring straight ahead at the road.

When they finally get to the safe house, Grant shuts the door behind them and goes up to Skye who is shaking like a leaf.

"When the guards came, all I could think off was Quinn when he—"

"Hey, look at me," He traces her face gently in hopes of calming her, "We're okay. You're okay, Skye, I promised that I wouldn't let anything happen to you. Have I ever broken a promise to you?" Skye shakes her head.

He kisses her forehead. "We're okay."

And to prove just how alive they are, he kisses her with all the adrenaline still running through their veins. Skye kisses him back and lifts her hands so that her fingers bury themselves into his hair. Before they know it, the remnants of the mission are reduced to a trail of dress clothes leading to the bedroom door.

Present Time

"Skye!" Grant's voice calls from the bedroom.

Shit, Skye thinks, shit shit shit

As she turns around, she is met by the sight of Grant in only a pair of boxers. She swallows hard and tries not to let her gaze drift away from his face.

"I woke up and you were gone." He says simply.

"Oh, um, yeah," Skye stumbles over her words, "I figured it was about time for us to call extraction. It's been hours, the team is probably worried."

Grant glances over at the window as furls of snow whistle past.

"Even if we tell them they'll never be able to pick us up through the storm."

"Well I figured it's better to let them know we're okay now rather than later." She says stiffly.

"Skye?" Grant crosses the room so that he is standing in front of her. "What's wrong?" He asks as he reaches a hand to cup her face.

Skye turns her head so that his hand falls limply to his side.

"Is it because of what happened between us last night? I don't regret it but if you do nothing has to change between us. We can go back to what we were before and nothing has to change."

"Skye, please look at me." He traps her in his arms and finally succeeds in cupping her cheek. Not being able to resist her being so close to him, he leans in and presses a slow, gentle kiss to her lips.

As if her body has taken over, she reciprocates enthusiastically. His arms cradle her with one hand fisted in her hair and the other strokes her lower back. While his mouth is hot on hers Skye's mind is met with flashbacks from their night between the bed sheets.

Finally regaining her senses, she breaks the kiss and places her hands on his chest.

"We shouldn't do this."

"Why? Tell me why."

Skye fidgets with her hands, not meeting his gaze.

"Skye, please tell me." His voice is the most vulnerable she has ever heard it and it makes her walls fall.

"Because-because I don't want to be what May was to you. I don't want this," She gestures with her hands, "Whatever this is, I don't want it to be just a way for us to let off steam after a mission after we have almost died."

"I don't want that either. What I do want is you. All of you. I didn't sleep with you because I was high on the adrenaline of a mission, I slept with you because, well" He looks at her almost shyly. "I like you, I really like you and I want to give us a shot."

Skye blushes "I really like you too and I want this, but SHIELD—"

Grant swoops in for another kiss, one that Skye doesn't break away from. It's only because of the need to breath that pries them apart.

"SHIELD," He says against her lips, "Can deal with it. Besides, we're not the first to break the fraternization rule." With a small giggle, Skye is lifted into his arms and their lips meet once more and they soon follow the trail of last night's clothes back to the bedroom.

Xx 12 Days of Skyeward xX

An hour later, Skye and Grant lay curled up together in bed with their legs tangled in the bed sheets. Grant absentmindedly alternates between stroking her bare hip to playing with her hair while Skye smiles at his face.

"Do you think we should call extraction?" She whispers.

"Nah, they're probably trying to avoid the storm and besides, we're probably snowed in by now."

"I guess that means we don't have to leave this bed any time soon."

"Nope." With that, Grant rolls them over and kisses her senseless.

Because, you know, they had to preserve body heat _somehow._


	6. Winter Things

**Light and fluffy Skyeward ahead! Takes place during season 1, Ward is not Hydra. How is it that I'm already halfway finished with 12 Days of Skyeward?!**

Chapter 6: Winter Things

 _It ain't even cold outside, not where I'm from  
Feeling like it's mid-July under the sun  
My jacket don't get no love, no hats and no gloves  
Not even a chance of rain  
But my baby's in town and we're gonna do some winter things_

 _Heyo, I wanna pretend we're at the North Pole  
Turning the heat into an ice cold holiday  
Made just for me and my baby_

It was December on the BUS but, rather contradictory, it was stifling hot. Why Coulson had agreed to take a mission in the African savannah, Skye did not know. It was officially winter and instead of cuddling under blankets with mugs of warm hot cocoa like she had planned, she was instead laying on the floor of her bunk in nothing but shorts and a tank top fanning herself with her hand.

And to make things even worse, the BUS's main power generator had broken sometime during the shootout that had taken place a couple days before. In other words, they had to stay at the SHIELD base in Africa for another week while the BUS was getting repaired. And to make matters even worse, the air conditioner broke so there was no functioning ac system. None.

With a groan, she let her hand fall onto her face (which was a mistake given how sweaty she was) and let out a wince as she felt her hot, clammy skin.

"Skye!" She heard a familiar masculine voice call. "Skye! You still have training to do!"

"But Waaarrrdd!" She grumbled. "We are on vacation!" That wasn't technically true.

He unceremoniously opened her door only for her to hiss at the excess body heat entering the small room.

"Just because we aren't mission ready doesn't mean that you can lay here and do nothing. Even Fitzsimmons are out working."

"But they get to have fun!"

Grant arches a brow.

"Oh please, you know as well as I that they are having the time of their lives playing around at the labs there. Anyways, why couldn't I just have gone to the Base with them? I know they have air conditioning there."

"You know why."

"Oh right!" Skye lifts her arm to jingle the silver bracelet around her wrist. "The internet nanny aka my ball and chain."

With a shake of his head, Grant holds out a hand in front of her face. "Come on, rookie, time to get up."

"Grant, just leave me here to die. Wherever I go will certainly be cooler than here."

With a sigh Grant just says, "If you're not going to train I guess you won't get to help me make gingerbread…."

Skye shoots up from the floor.

"Gingerbread?"

Xx 12 Days of Skyeward xX

Fifteen minutes later, Grant and Skye are in kitchen baking. Rather, Grant is baking and Skye is just cutting cookie dough with a cookie cutter.

"Tell me again why we aren't on vacation?"

"This isn't like school, Skye, and this definitely isn't a normal job." He starts pouring mix into a pan. When he looks up from his work, he sees her guiltily licking cookie batter from her fingertips. "If you were so adamant on making cookies why are you so insistent on eating it before its even been made?"

Five minutes into Ward making gingerbread loaves, Skye had insisted that they make gingerbread cookies. Even when he told her that the BUS would only get hotter if they used the oven too much she had just shrugged it off claiming that Christmas cookies would be worth it.

Skye rolls her eyes. "Anyway," _another lick,_ "Why don't we get normal vacation days? Don't you think people will be suspicious if you don't show up for Christmas?"

"Well that's why so few agents have families. At least, agents who work in the field. Working for SHIELD, you don't really have time to meet people let alone have someone to come home to."

"That's a sad way to live, not having a life out of the work place."

Grant shrugs.

"I guess we're too busy protecting the world we don't get the chance to be part of it."

"Is that why specialists like you and May are so…." She searches for the word.

"Robot like?" Grant asks, the corners of his lips lifting against his will.

"Yeah! I knew it would catch on! But seriously, are all specialists like that?"

"Not all. There are a few exceptions but they're rare. I only know one other specialist that could pass off as a normal person."

"Normal? What makes you not-normal? And even if you are, you could easily pretend to be a 'normal' person."

"It's not that simple. And if you're just going to eat the cookie dough I might as well do it." He reaches over to take the cookie cutter from her hands but Skye prevents him from taking it. With a grin of satisfaction she continues cutting the dough and placing them onto a pan.

"With specialists, it's hard to be natural." Grant continues. "We're given so many covers that we have to become that after a while all you are is a file full of them. You don't really know who you are."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," He furrows his brow, looking for a way to explain. "It's hard differentiating your personality versus a cover. When you're trained to become someone else, you become that person. Later on, you sort of forget who you were before."

"Do you remember who you were?"

He looks up at her. "Yeah. But it took a long time to figure myself out. That's why I'm on the team, I told Hill I was done with long term undercover missions."

After a beat of silence he speaks again. "But it's getting easier, finding myself and all. Like for instance, making gingerbread with you reminds me of the gingerbread my Gramsy used to make me and Tommy when we were younger."

"I bet you miss them, huh."

Grant takes both of their baking trays and places them into the oven.

"All the time. But it's safer for them if they don't hear from me, SHIELD's enemies are desperate and they won't hesitate to use family member against people. Its better this way. At least I know that they won't get hurt."

"I'm so sorry, Grant. They're your family, it's not fair." Skye doesn't tell him that he's wrong to keep them out of his life because she knows what he is doing is the only way to keep them safe. And it's not as if she had been doing the same thing before she met the Team.

"I know but I'm just glad that I have a family. Besides I get to see them all the time now."

"What? I thought—you just said—"

Grant laughs, a rich, deep laugh that she can only describe as genuine.

"That's not what I meant—well—not exactly." At the look of confusion on Skye's face he sobers, "What I meant is that they're not my only family. I have you guys. The Team is my family." He steps in front of her and gently wipes away a small streak of cookie batter from her cheek with his thumb. "Just because we aren't related doesn't mean that you're not my family, Skye."

Skye turns away and fakes a smile to hide her disappointment. "So am I your little sister or your cousin?"

Grant shakes his head no and leans down to press a kiss to her lips. When he pulls away to look at her he says, "I was thinking something _entirely_ different."

Xx 12 Days of Skyeward xX

When the rest of the team come back to the BUS a few hours later, they find that the air conditioning has finally been fixed. When they walk in, they are surprised that it is freezing cold as if someone had turned it up on full blast. Yet they are even more surprised when they see Grant Ward and Skye leaning on each other while fast asleep on the couch wrapped together in a cocoon of blankets.

A loud choking sound is released from Coulson's throat, Fitzsimmons let out some "Aww"s before snagging a piece of gingerbread cookie, and May just smiles.

"You owe me twenty bucks, Phil."


	7. Santa Tell Me

**Oh my sweet frikin fiddlesticks I thought that I uploaded this chapter two days ago when I put it up on AO3 but i forgot which is weird considering I already had it ready on doc manager...I must have gotten distracted by the chocolate chip cookies I made...ANYWAY, I guess that just means double update**

Chapter 7: Santa Tell Me

 _Feeling Christmas all around  
And I'm trying to play it cool  
But it's hard to focus when I see you walking around the room  
Let it snow, it's blasting now  
But I won't get in the mood  
I'm avoiding every mistletoe until I know  
It's true love that he thinks of_

Skye bit her lip as she saw Grant work out with the punching bag. With a sigh, she eyed the strained muscles of his back and arms as beads of sweat fell from the back of his neck. She swears that in another life he was a model of some sort…..or even a cast member of a Magic Mike movie…Biting her lip harder, she averts to gaze back to Simmons who had been talking to her for the past thirty minutes. What exactly they were talking about, Skye had forgotten due to a certain dark and handsome SO.

"—and I told him that it was because I was nervous and jumpy and I just happened to have the ICER in my bag and I simply panicked because as you well know, intruders pose a danger and are high risk in the HUB and as a SHIELD agent it was simply my duty to incapacitate the intruder." Simmons rambles.

"Uh-huh." Skye nods along, her eyes continuing to gaze over through the lab doors into the cargo bay. Damn, she had even been avoiding the mistletoe Simmons had sprung up everywhere to prevent any awkward, though she imagines it would be enjoyable, situations and their even worse aftermaths.

"But he didn't buy it! I know that I'm not one of the best when it comes to lying but I didn't even—Skye?"

"What?" Her eyes immediately snap over to face the biochemist next to her. "I'm listening, you were talking about Fitz."

Simmons sighs. "Skye, that was fifteen minutes ago."

"I'm sorry, Simmons, I was just a little—"

"Distracted?" She smiles knowingly. "By any chance was it because of a certain specialist?"

Skye opens her mouth to deny it but thinks better of it. Nodding her head a blush creeps its way onto her cheeks, Simmons squeals in delight.

"I knew it! Oh goodness, the second I saw you two this morning I knew that there was something between you!"

"Simmons," Skye hisses, "Keep it down. And for God's sake there is nothing going on with us!" Oh but how she wished there was.

True, Grant was listening to music through a pair of earbuds and there was a door separating them but Skye was worried that he would hear and then where would she be? Certainly not in his life anymore.

"No one can know! Simmons, swear to me you won't tell anyone."

"Yes! Now we must—"

"Not even Fitz." At Simmons's slightly disappointed face Skye prods the scientist even more. "Simmons, promise me you won't tell Fitz."

"Oh fine! But you must tell me everything!"

Minutes later, the two girls sit in the interrogation room, given it's the only soundproof room on the BUS. To be extra safe, Skye had put the surveillance cameras on a loop so no one would go looking for them there and try to eavesdrop.

"Well why don't you just tell him! You know, he may even reciprocate your feelings for him and you guys can be happy together."

"Simmons, it's more complicated than that! We just got into a good place again after the whole Miles thing and if he figures out I like him like that he'll shut me out again."

"But Skye, its—"

"Not possible. I may lo—like him, but he doesn't. And even if he didn't just get over hating me it wouldn't be fair to him if I told him when he clearly doesn't feel the same."

Xx 12 Days of Skyeward xX

"Fifteen at the punching bag." Grant steps across from her to hold the bag.

"Why do we have to get up this early to train?" _punch_. It was five o' clock in the morning, not even Fitzsimmons were in the lab.

"If you're going to be a SHIELD agent you're going to have to sacrifice some things; staying in late would be one of them." He lets go of the bag to circle around her, eyeing her stance and movements. "Put a little more of your weight into your punches. But not too much or you'll easily get unbalanced."

"You know," Skye grunts as she hits the bag, "We never had to do training for the Rising Tide and you'd be surprised how many times we have had to run from suits."

"And considering that you got caught by said suits just proves how much training you need."

"But I joined you guys so that's different." _Punch_

Grant looks down for a second as if he's choosing his next words very carefully.

"Well, you've improved greatly since you first came. But I have to tell you, you really need to learn how to keep secrets better."

At Skye's raised eyebrow, Grant says, "You like me, you said so yesterday."

A wave of cold panic washes over her and threatens to drown her.

"Wait a minute how do you know that? Did Simmons tell you?"

At the look of panic mixed with embarrassment on her face, Grant laughs.

"I heard you guys when you were in the lab. You know, you really need to work on your sensory awareness, rookie."

"But you had music on, you couldn't hear us. And how did you access the footage of the interrogation room? I put it on a loop."

"Firstly, I wasn't listening to any music so I could hear you quite clearly. And secondly, I'm a specialist. I have to have some knowledge of computers."

"I'm sorry that you heard all that." She bites her lips nervously. "I know that we haven't gotten along before but now that we are in a good place I don't want to ruin it. If you want we can just forget what I even said in the lab."

"And in the interrogation room." He adds.

"Yeah." She says softly.

"Well why don't you ask me how I feel before you jump to conclusions." Grant says with a smirk.

"Ward, you don't have to rub it into my face," She says heatedly, "I know that you don't like me like that, you can barely toler—"

Grant strides the two feet over to her and pulls her against his chest firmly. Before she can finish her sentence to even react to his movements, he smashes his lips against hers. In a frenzy, his lips move desperately while he pulls her into him as if he can never get enough of her.

Even though she is surprised by the kiss, Skye quickly reciprocates, clutching his shirt and fisting the hairs at the nape of his neck between her fingers.

They yank their lips apart to breath but the loss of contact is short-lived when he starts pressing kisses onto her neck, leaving a trail of heat in his wake. Slowly, he steps forward until her back is pressed up against the wall of the cargo bay. Taking her smalls hands into his large ones he lifts them up above her head, ignoring the tape still wrapped around her knuckles. At her little whine of protest at not being able to touch him, he relents his hold on her hands and instead travels them down to below her bottom to lift her up at which Skye quickly wraps her legs around his waist.

"Grant," She moans his name hotly onto the space of skin below his ear. She swears she can feel his lips quirk up at the sound of his name escaping her lips.

Pulling his face up from the junction of her neck and shoulder, he stares up at her as she breathes heavily and tries to catch her breath.

"Skye," He says softly, "I'm in love with you."

Skye's eyes widen in surprise as her brain comprehends what he has just revealed to her. "Oh. But I thought—after the whole Miles thing, I thought you hated me."

"You want to know why I was so upset about seeing you with Miles?" He asks. "I was jealous. And I've never felt like that before, I've never been jealous and I've never felt the way I feel about you. My first reaction was to shut you out and it was wrong of me to do so."

Skye motions for him to let her down (she is still pressed up to the wall with her legs wrapped around his waist) and he gently places her back down as if she is made of the most precious metal in the world.

 _And to think_ , a peal of laughter escapes her. At Grant's distraught look she laughs even harder. Finally regaining some sense of composure, Skye stands up as straight as she can (she is still much shorter than him, regardless) and says, "And to think I've been avoiding mistletoe for weeks because I was afraid you didn't feel the same way about me."

Loosely wrapping his arms around her again, he pulls her into another kiss. This time, it's as gentle as their last kiss was passionate.

"Don't worry, I'm sure Simmons still has some hanging around."

And sure enough, above where they stood hung a single sprig of mistletoe.


	8. The Little Boy That Santa Forgot

**Holy guacamole, 4 more days left!**

 **TRIGGER WARNING FOR ABUSE, THIS IS NOT A HAPPY STORY**

 **And I forgot to update a couple days ago so I double updated so if you haven't seen the other chapter just click the previous button.**

Chapter 8: The Little Boy That Santa Forgot

 _In the street he envies all those lucky boys,  
Then wanders home to last year's broken toys.  
I'm so sorry for that laddie,  
He hasn't got a daddy,  
The little boy that Santa Claus forgot._

"Worthless!" The sound of glass smashing to the floor echoes through the room. "Weak!"

Underneath the crashes and the screaming is the whimpering of a small eight year old boy.

"Dad, please no-," He cries.

"What did you just call me?!" Another whiskey glass is thrown to the ground.

"Da—I mean Sir—" The little boy stutters, "I'm sorry, I meant Sir."

"You damn right you did you stupid piece of shit!"

"Grant!" The little boy wails as another shard imbeds itself into his skin, "Grant!"

"Tommy!" An older boy's voice calls out from another part of the house.

"Shut up! Christian, get a hold of your brothers."

The whole time Senator Ward had been hurling whiskey glasses at his youngest son, Christian Ward had been standing in the corner, seemingly immune to the screams of his two younger brothers. At the sound of his father's drunken order, his head immediately perked up.

"Yes sir." Even being his father's favorite didn't give him the permission needed to call him 'father'. Not that their father could really be considered one anyway.

Xx 12 Days of Skyeward xX

The next day, Tommy and Grant walked to the bus station that would bring them to school. Christian wasn't with them because he had his license and could drive. Neither their parents nor Christian ever drove them to school, wanting to have as little to do with them while sober as possible.

"Tommy," Grant stoops down to his little brother's level and trails his finger gently over the cut marring his forehead, "If people at school ask you how you got that cut, tell them that it was an accident. Tell them that you just tripped and fell down the stairs. Can you do that for me?"

Normally he wouldn't even have to tell him to do this, Tommy almost never was hurt. He was their mother's favorite, their mother's baby, but since she had left to go on a business trip she hadn't been there to prevent her husband and her eldest son from taking out all their anger on him.

When their mother had told them she was leaving for the week, Grant had scoffed. _Oh yes, she and her co-worker were off on "business"._ Part of him was jealous of her leaving, she had a means of escaping her monstrous husband. The other part of him was angry and afraid. Angry that she was able to leave him and Tommy when she knew what happened behind closed doors, and afraid of what his father and Christian would do to them now that she was away.

"Why Grant?"

"Because if you tell them our little secret, we lose the game." Grant faked a small smile to ease Tommy's suspicions. Yes, he got been abused by his father and Christian, but still being young, Tommy didn't fully understand the severity of their situation. Grant was fourteen now and was able to lie and hide for the both of them.

"Okay." Grant breathed a sigh of relief. "But Grant, what are you going to tell them?" He points to the junction between Grant's shoulder and neck where bruises peak through his shirt if he turns a certain way.

"Don't worry about me, they'll never know. It's out little secret."

But how Grant desperately wanted to tell someone, anyone, of their situation. He knew that at least one of his teachers over the years noticed the frequent injuries and the curt excuses that his parents had always told, but even if they said something, Senator Ward would cover it up with his money and power.

And if the news ever did manage to get out, Tommy and Grant would be separated and become wards of the state (he can already see the headlines). He had heard the stories of how the foster-care system was like and he didn't want that for himself or his little brother. Plus, their father and Christian had made it clear what they would do to them if they ever told someone. Grant shuddered at the thought and outwardly blamed it on the December chill.

Christmas was upon them and the smell of the season was in the air. Mentally he prepared himself for the onslaught of political guests that would be arriving in a few weeks' time and the questions that they would ask.

"What are you asking Santa for this year? A young man such as yourself must be asking for something entertaining."

At which Grant would use that year's newest fad as his answer. Last year he said cassette tapes, the year before that he said sneakers, and the year before that he said something relating to Pokémon.

After he would blush and politely tell the politician what he "wanted", the politician would look at his father and say, "What a nice young man you have, you certainly raised him right." Grant's father would pat his back and plaster on a smile.

But those things were never what Grant really wanted. What he wanted was to be safe. To be loved. To have an actual home.

Grant envied all the other boys. When everyone in his class still believed in Santa, he was biting his tongue to prevent himself from blurting out the truth that Santa didn't exist. Because if he did, surely he would have come and saved him and Tommy. Right? As time went on and their belief faded, they would all talk about what they were asking their parents for Christmas. Whenever someone asked Grant what he wanted (which was rare, Grant barely had any friends) he would just give them the same answer he was going to give the politicians later at his family's party.

When the bus finally arrives, Tommy and Grant quickly climb on. Tommy is summoned over to his group of friends who immediately ask him what he'll be asking Santa for.

"Santa" always got a present for Tommy, Grant and their mother made sure of it. But just because Tommy got something didn't mean he or Christian got something. But he was okay with that, as long as Tommy was as happy as he could be. Christian, not so much. As soon as their mother turned her back, he was onto Tommy, punishing him as if he was the reason why he didn't receive anything.

Gramsy had always gotten them presents, Grant is pretty sure she was one of the only people that actually gave a damn about them. Unfortunately, two years ago she passed away. Her absence only made the void in Grant's heart grow bigger.

As Tommy sat with his friends, Grant moved to sit in the back of the bus alone.

Grant was always glad that Tommy was so different from him, both at home and out. Tommy was outgoing, he was fun to be around, he was loved, and he was everything that he was not. But that was okay too, because it meant that Tommy had a chance. He had a chance at life, he had a chance to get out without raising too many questions.

Above the loud chattering of the other children, Grant can hear one of Tommy's friends exclaim, "Tommy! How did you get that cut?"

With bated breath, Grant strains his ears to hear his little brother's answer.

"Oh, I fell down the stairs." Tommy says nonchalantly.

"Did it hurt?"

"A little, but not anymore."

Grant sighs in relief.

Xx 12 Days of Skyeward xX

The day passes by like any other day does; slowly and painstakingly. For every Christmas/holiday—based question asked by his teachers, Grant looks at the clock to see if any time has passed.

"Do you have any plans for the holidays, Grant?"

"No, I think we're just staying home and spending some family time this year." _We're going to hide between the walls and hope no one drinks too much._

"Grant, what would you like for Christmas this year?"

"I'm not sure yet, there's a lot to choose from." _For my family to become a family._

On the bus ride home, Grant listens in on the conversations of the other kids. Some conversations are between younger ones who wonder what kind of cookie they should leave Santa and others are between kids nearer to his age who wonder if their parents have gotten the hint of what they want.

When they reach their bus stop, Grant grabs Tommy's hand and they walk together to their perfect house filled with perfect Christmas decorations.

If you weren't looking too closely you would think that the broken whiskey decanters and crystal tumblers were pieces of pretty ice décor.


	9. I'll Be Home for Christmas

**So this was a prompt that was requested many times by a certain reader whom I love so happy (early) Christmas :)**

 **I just realized that I have to update every day until Christmas and I still have 2 stories I need to write and there's only 3 days left...But that's okay, I got this! *laughs nervously***

Chapter 9: I'll Be Home for Christmas

 _I am dreaming tonight of a place I love  
Even more than I usually do  
And although I know it's a long road back  
I promise you  
I'll be home for Christmas_

It was late in the afternoon when Grant started feeling warm. Correction, it was Skye that had noticed. They had been sitting on the couch together with Skye on top of him when she had leaned backward to rest her back against his chest.

She sighed in contentment as Grant brought his arms to wrap around her middle. With his body entrapping her in his warmth Skye felt her eyes start to flutter shut. It wasn't until she felt the heat radiate from his face when he moved his head to kiss the side of her neck that she noticed that something was off.

"Grant?"

"Mmmhmm?" He muttered against her neck.

"You're really hot." She took one of his hands that had rested along her stomach and felt it with the back of her hand, ignoring the small chuckle he released. "Not like that!" When she felt of him pouting against her skin she said, "Aw Grant, you know you're hot."

With a laugh of her own she batted his face away from the junction of her neck and shoulder. Turning her body to face him, she lightly straddled him to examine his face. Immediately, Grant's hands rose to rest on her hips and draw small circles with his thumbs.

As she pressed the back of her hand to his forehead she frowned. "You're really warm. How are you feeling?"

Whilst looking up at her as if she was his whole world (she is) he said, "I feel fine." But right when he said that he knew he was lying because he was suddenly hit with a wave of nausea.

Skye had instantly noticed the change in his expression for she was suddenly detangling them from the cocoon of blankets and hauling him off the couch and dragging him to the lab.

"Skye, I'm fine, I was probably just under the blankets for too long."

"Then I guess a small checkup won't hurt will it?"

"Really, Skye, I'm fine, it's nothing." It was that moment that fate sent him a bout of coughs that scraped against his throat and did nothing to placate Skye.

"We're going to Simmons."

Minutes later he found himself in the lab with an over eager scientist buzzing around him.

"Well, you do seem to be running quite the fever Agent Ward." Simmons announced after checking his temperature and other vitals.

"I can't be sick, all specialists have annual immunity shots for most common illnesses."

Knowing that Ward would most likely protest against the possibility of being sick, Simmons had her explanation ready at the tip of her tongue. "Yes but they are not always one-hundred percent successful."

"How long until the fever goes away?" Skye asks.

"Hopefully after a couple of days, the most it would last would be a week. We have some pretty strong meds that I can give him so that should break the fever in no time but it will still leave him feeling a bit poorly."

"Will he need anything else?"

"The meds are going to make him feel drowsy and forgetful so I suggest that he get a lot of bed rest. It will also be wise if I hook him up to an IV to make sure he is receiving enough fluids."

"There is no way I'm going to stay in bed when we might get called for a mission." Grant tells them adamantly from his seat on the lab table.

"You can and you will, Grant Douglas Ward, if I have any say in it." Skye tells him, leaving no room for argument. Knowing that he can't possibly win this argument, he nods his head at Simmons who quickly injects the medicine into his arm and hooks him up to an IV.

Xx 12 Days of Skyeward xX

And that's how he had fallen asleep in his bunk for the past couple of hours.

"Grant," A calming voice says gently, "Grant."

Grant wakes up to a cold cloth and even colder fingers on his forehead.

"Grant." The sweet voice calls again.

Recognizing it as Skye, Grant releases a small groan and turns over in his bunk to lean into her other hand that is cupping his cheek in order hold his head straight.

"It's too hot." He mutters like a small child.

"I know." Skye continues to press the cloth onto his too warm skin. "You have a fever, that's why. Simmons gave you medication a couple of hours ago."

"Hmm?" He asks contently.

Skye laughs a little and the sound is like the Christmas bells that she and Fitzsimmons had put all over the BUS.

"I don't know what Simmons drugged you up with but she said you'll be a little drowsy and forgetful. You had a pretty high fever, Grant."

"Drugged? I was drugged?" He makes a move to sit up but Skye pushes him back down gently.

"Shhhh," She says soothingly. His eyes flutter closed and he finds himself immediately relaxing back into her. "That's not what I meant. Simmons gave you medicine, do you remember that?"

He shakes his head into his pillow.

"It's okay if you don't, it's the meds she gave you."

Opening his eyes again, he blinks back the sleep in them and peers through the darkened bunk.

"Why is it so dark? I can't see you, Skye, where are you?"

"I'm right here, Grant. The lights are off because it's nighttime." And to show him where she was she took his hand and laid it on her shoulder.

Stroking her shoulder to make sure she was in fact there, he says, "Good. I thought you had gone."

"Gone? Gone where." Despite Grant being delirious with fever, Skye couldn't help smiling. She never knew he could be this damn adorable.

"Away from me. Everyone leaves." He says. If that sentence in itself didn't make her break for him, the sad childlike sound his voice had taken on definitely did.

"Grant, I'm not leaving you. People have left me too and I promise you, I would never do that to you. I'm staying right here."

His eyes have finally adjusted to the dark now and search for her own. When they finally meet his eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"Why? It's nighttime." Skye smiles at his sudden change of context.

"To take care of you." She says simply as she resumes pressing the cool cloth to his forehead.

"Why?" He asks again.

"Because I care about you."

Grant stares at her for a minute with a dumbstruck look on his face.

"I care about you, too. Probably more than I should."

"What do you mean?" Even though she is long past it, old insecurities creep up in her mind and leave her cold to the touch.

"Specialists aren't allowed to fall in love."

"And did you?" Skye brushes away the strands of hair that are determined to be out of place.

"Yeah, I did. You're my home, Skye." He murmurs into his pillow.

In all the books he had read and the movies he had watched the characters had all described home as "where the heart is". And he was always frustrated at that answer because he didn't know where that was! It definitely wasn't with his family, Tommy and his Gramsy (God bless her soul) being the only exceptions. But now….now he finds he knows exactly what they meant. He just can't believe it took fever-induced deliria to make him realize it. With thoughts of his love for her, he falls into a peaceful sleep filled with dreams of the future.

As she watches him succumb to sleep, Skye ponders the meaning of his words. He is a bit drugged up at the moment, he might not even realize what he is saying. But he wouldn't be anything but honest with the medicine in his veins and the fever in his head.

Deciding to ask him about it tomorrow, Skye crawls into bed next to him. Before sleep claims her too, she vaguely worries whether or not Grant would even remember in the morning.


	10. Winter Wonderland

**Warning: fluff and cheese ahead. I swear, it's like I gathered all the clichés and all the cheese in the world and bottled it up in a 1,500 words.**

 **2 more chapters to go!**

Chapter 10: Winter Wonderland

 _In the meadow we can build a snowman  
Then pretend that he is Parson Brown  
He'll say are you married?  
We'll say no man  
But you can do the job  
When you're in town_

It was one of those rare days when an assignment had been completed early and the Team was given a reprieve. This time, they were in New York City where Coulson had to attend a meeting with the Avengers (they never heard the end of his squeals of delight when he was face to face with Steve Rogers) and the meeting had ended earlier than expected. Coulson had been both excited that they would finally get time off but was upset given it meant he was allowed less time with his hero. May had just told him that he would get over it before she gave him one of those rare smiles of hers.

"Would you like to go out with us, Skye?" Simmons asked, "Fitz and I are planning on doing a little sight-seeing in the city. It's not every day we get to spend Christmas in New York!"

Skye was about to agree to the scientist's plans when Grant beat her to it. "Actually, we were planning on doing something on our own." He said while giving a pointed look to Simmons.

"We are?" Skye didn't know about this beforehand.

"Oh then why don't we join you guys," said Fitz, "I reckon it'll be a nice outing—ouch!" he rubbed his arm ruefully where Simmons had elbowed him rather hard. After giving him one of those looks in which they seemed to have an almost telepathic conversation, Fitz's eyes widened in understanding. "Never-mind, I'm sure you and Grant would prefer to spend the afternoon together. It's been a while since you two last had a proper date hasn't it."

"Well, um, Fitz and I have to get back to the lab, right Fitz?" And before he can respond she is flashing Skye a too bright smile and pushing him out of the room.

Not wanting to know what that was about, Skye turned around to face her partner (in more ways than none). "I didn't know we had plans."

"Can't we be spontaneous?" He asks her with a smile as he brings his hands up to cup her cheeks.

Skye laughs. "I thought I was supposed to be the spontaneous one."

"Well, you've got to admit I do have my moments." He whispers into her ear.

An hour later, Skye and Grant are all bundled up and walking their way down the paths of Central Park. On the way there, they had walked down Fifth Avenue, visited Grand Central Terminal, and Skye had even managed to drag Grant to Rockefeller Center to ice skate.

The whole time, Skye gazed in wonderment at the city and how grand it seemed when the Battle of New York had only been a two years ago.

Stopping on one of the bridges, the couple takes a minute to gaze at the view of the city. The river running under the bridge had frozen over and they could see a faint outline of their reflections through the ice. The buildings overhead had been covered in a blanket of snow and the small flurries that were falling from the sky made the scene ideal for a Christmas card.

Grant takes a deep breath, his pocket suddenly feeling ten times heavier. "Skye I need to ask you something."

"What is it?"

Grant fidgets with his hands nervously before he takes her hands into his own.

"We've only known each other for two years and I know that's not a long time and we've been together for less than that but I need you to know that I love you. You know that, right?"

"And I love you, too. But Grant, where is this coming from?"

"I know that in our line of work, nothing is certain. We could die tomorrow or we can live only to die the day after that. I have gone through the pain of almost losing you and I can tell you that it was the worst feeling I have ever felt in my whole life. And it's unfair to you to keep continuing us when the risk of one of dying is so high—"

"Hold on a minute! Is this your way of breaking up with me? Because, Grant, if you don't want to be with me you could have at least come up with a more original reason." Through the anger in her voice, he can hear the sadness behind it of the fear that he was leaving her.

And Skye was by no means a clingy person. But years of abandonment had made her wary of pretty much everyone. To have him and the team in her life and for them to stay there for the past two years was a big step for her, she had never had a constant person, let alone people, in her life.

Grant kicked himself for not going about this in a better way. Of course when he was about to propose to her she misconstrued it into thinking he was breaking up with her.

"No! That's not what I meant at all!"

"Than what was all that about it being unfair to me for us being together? On the grounds of one of us _dying_? Grant, we could die any second of any day no matter what we do. For all we know, another alien invasion could happen right now where we're standing but it wouldn't change the fact that I want to spend my life with you, no matter how short or long it may be." Small, crystalline tears are making their way to the fronts of her eyes and are about to begin their descent to earth.

"I think you just said it better than I ever could." Grant says, slightly embarrassed.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, if you had let me finish," Grant says while reaching into his pocket, "You would have heard me say that I'm a selfish man who doesn't care if we live or die." He takes out the small box and bends down on one knee. "As long as I get to spend the rest of my life with the woman I love, I will die a happy man and it all would have been worth it. So Skye, will you do me the greatest honor; will you marry me?" He opens the box to reveal a stunning ring inside. It had a simple silver band with filigree surrounding the round diamond in the center.

If she wasn't crying before she definitely was crying now. But this time they were tears of joy and not tears of sadness. Unable to speak, she nods her head enthusiastically and gives him her left hand to place the ring on. With shaking hands, he slides the ring onto her finger where it rests perfectly against her skin. Even with the tears clouding his vision and the tears in Skye's eyes, he can't help but think about how beautiful she was

Snow had gathered in the curls of her hair like Mother Nature was crowning her the queen that she was and the smile that lit up her face was like the sun that his world revolved around. The sparkling ring on her finger only added to how perfect she looked.

He rises from his spot on the snowy ground and sweeps her up in a kiss. When they break away, he whispered against her lips, "I love you."

"And I love you, too. So so much."

When they break apart, Skye raises her hand to get a better look at the ring. "Grant, it's beautiful" She murmurs. "Where on earth did you get it?"

"It was my Gramsy's. She left it for me when she died, I remember Christian had a fit about it."

Gazing up at him, she presses another kiss to his lips. Suddenly, a thought came to her that left her smiling even more. "Did Fitzsimmons know?" When Grant nods she laughs. "That's why they were acting so weird this morning."

"Actually, the whole team knew. Coulson got us time off so we could stop in New York for a few days."

"But I thought he had a meeting with the Avengers."

"Oh he did. But May told them all that the team had important business to attend to so the meeting ended early."

"I can't believe you all did that for me."

Grant pulls her in closer. "But we did because we all love you. And I can't wait to do even more for you for the rest of our lives."

After a couple more minutes of basking in the happiness of their engagement they continue their walk through the park. And as they walked through the winter wonderland that had taken the place of Central Park, the ring on Skye's finger shone _almost_ as brightly as the smiles on their faces.


	11. Christmas Must Be Something More

**It's the Eve of Christmas Eve! Tomorrow the last story will be going up and I don't know how I feel about it all being over**

Chapter 11: Christmas Must Be Something More

 _We get so caught up in all of it  
Business and relationships  
Hundred mile an hour lives  
And it's this time of year  
And everybody's here  
It seems the last thing on your mind_

Throughout the weeks leading up to Christmas, the constant rustling of wrapping paper and the shearing of the scissors quickly replaced the Christmas carols as the Ward family's holiday soundtrack.

When the all too familiar sound reached Grant's ears he felt the other side of the bed for Skye. But, as he suspected, it was cold and empty. With a groan, he lifted himself up from the bed and trudged his way out of their bedroom and to the living area. The sight he was met with would have been endearing if he hadn't been so alarmed. There on the floor was his wife surrounded by rolls of wrapping paper and ribbons with their not-exactly-a-puppy-but-not-exactly-an-adult dog as she attempted wrapping the presents they had gotten their daughter.

"Skye what are you doing?" He asked through a yawn. "It's nearly one in the morning."

"I'm wrapping Rosie's presents." She whispered, afraid to wake the sleeping dog in her lap. They had gotten the dog around the time Rose had started learning how to talk and she had excitedly dubbed the dog "Bear". Grant said it was probably because of the bedtime stories that they read to her whose illustrations were of cute baby bears. And in Rose's defense, if he was a five year old he would have thought that the chocolate lab was a bear cub too.

"Tomorrow's Christmas Eve, we'll have time to wrap them then. Now come back to bed, it's cold without you."

"No, I have to make sure that these are wrapped tonight because tomorrow Rosie is going to try and stay up all night to see Santa!" A hint of hysteria resides in her voice as she gives him a glare as if their daughter's fascination with the mystical man in red was all Grant's fault.

"Sweetheart," He carefully approaches her as if she is a bird ready to take flight at any moment. Slowly he sits down in front of her and lifts her chin so he could see her better. "What's wrong?"

Skye had been worrying him these past weeks leading up to Christmas. She had always felt stressed during the holidays but normally the stress was outweighed by joy and excitement. This year, however, she had been more stressed and high-strung than he had ever seen. On top of caring for their daughter and their dog (which was basically a second child), she had been running back and forth collecting presents, cooking food for their Christmas Eve gathering, preparing for said gathering, all the while keeping the gifts a surprise for Rosie. By the end of the day there was nothing else they were able to do but sleep. They hadn't even had sex for weeks, they were both too tired.

He had tried to help her of course but she had batted him away, convinced that everything had to be done a certain way that only she knew how to do. So he had let her be and instead helped her by taking care of Rosie. It wasn't a job though, spending time with his daughter never felt like a job, she had him wrapped around her tiny little finger.

But even so, Skye seemed on edge and he didn't know what to do. He hated not knowing how to help her.

"Nothing's wrong." She says weakly. The trembling wrapping paper in her hand tells them different. Gently he pries the roll out of her hand and replaces it with his own, squeezing her fingers reassuringly. Staring up at her, he gave her a knowing look that told her that he didn't believe her.

"May Rose is five now." She whispers quietly after a beat. Their little girl had turned five a few months ago so this wasn't news to him. Admittedly, Grant didn't want to come to terms with the fact that his little May Rose was growing before his eyes. Yet Skye's admission didn't make sense since Rose was still a young child.

"And? Don't tell me she already wants to move out." He says jokingly in an attempt to make her laugh.

"Haha, very funny." It wasn't a laugh but a small smile still graced her face. "But Grant, she's growing up. She's realizing us, the world, and herself. What if we can't be who she needs us to be? What if we can't make her happy?"

And then it dawns on him. Isn't she just projecting the same thing he has been? He wonders why it had taken him this long to come realize it given the same insecurities haunted his own mind.

"You're worried that we won't be enough for her and you're scared of giving her the childhoods that we had."

"I'm not scared of that last part, Grant, you're an amazing father. We would never let anything that happened to us happen to her." She says fiercely.

"So you're worried about the first part, that we won't be enough."

Skye bites her lip nervously and slowly nods.

"Come here," He whispers as he opens his arms for her at which she eagerly falls into. After pressing a tender kiss to her forehead he says, "You'll always be more than enough for her."

"I know but—"

"Skye," He pulls away only so he can look her directly in the eye. "You are an amazing mother. Don't ever doubt that. Yes, there will be times when maybe we can't give Rose everything she desires but she will never be alone like we were. Do you know why that is?"

"Because she has us." She answered shyly.

"Because she has us." Grant assures her firmly. "Now why don't you put all this stuff away and come back to bed. We have a long day tomorrow, you know."

She sighs. "I wish I could but you know I'm right when I say that we won't be able to wrap Rosie's gifts tomorrow. And with everyone coming over we just won't have any time."

"Okay then." Grant grabs a roll of multicolored wrapping paper and begins to cut it with the scissors lying haphazardly on the floor.

"Grant? What are you doing?"

"I'm wrapping presents." He said as if it were the most obvious thing, "I figure if you're going to stay up all night, rather, stay up all morning, I might as well join you. Besides, it's been a while since we got a minute to be alone together."

"Okay." Skye smiles softly and reaches to untangle the ropes of festive ribbon.

Xx 12 Days of Skyeward xX

The next day came in a blur.

Thank God Skye and Grant had the sense to find a good hiding spot to stash all the presents because early that morning Rose and Bear had hightailed their way into their bed to wake them up.

"Wake up!" Rosie had squealed as she jumped onto the bed, landing across their chests, "Wake up! Grandpa and Grandma and Uncle Fitzy and Auntie Jemma are coming!"

As they had blinked back the sleep from their eyes and dragged themselves out of bed Rosie babbled to them and Bear about how much fun they all were going to have.

Skye just smiled at Grant as they both thought about how glad they were that Rosie had other family members in her life.

Soon they were all dressed and stuffed themselves with pumpkin pancakes, Rosie's favorite which she no doubt picked up from her father, and awaiting the arrival of the family.

When they got they finally did arrive, a joyful raucous erupted in the Ward house. The kind that can only be attributed to families, happy and content in their dysfunctionality.

And through the screams of excitement (from both the adults and her darling little five year old) and the Christmas carols (which had taken back their place as the Ward holiday soundtrack) Skye felt a warm contentness inside. Seeing all the members of her team, who she saw as her family, all around her and Rosie laughing in her husband's lap made a smile spread on her face. And in that moment she knew that this was enough. They would always be enough.


	12. Last Christmas

**It's here! The last chapter is finally here and oh my goodness it means that this is the end of 12 Days of Skyeward. Would you believe me if I told you I've worked on this last chapter for a year? Well it is, I meant to publish this last year but I never finished it because I never knew how to end it. And when I did finish it, I wanted to write more so 12DS was born! And now that it's over its like my baby is all grown up. Thank you to everyone who took the time to click on this story, to read it, to send kudos, comment.**

 **I love you all, I hope you all have a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Happy Kwanzaa, whatever you celebrate I hope it's a happy one!**

 **Now on to the story! This is basically a happy version/what could have been of the two chapters Christmases When You Were Mine and I Want to Come Home for Christmas.**

Chapter 12: Last Christmas

 _A crowded room,  
Friends with tired eyes.  
I'm hiding from you  
And your soul of ice.  
My god I thought you were someone to rely on.  
Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on._

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart.  
A man under cover but you tore me apart, ooh-hoo.  
Now I've found a real love, you'll never fool me again

.

It had been two months since Grant Ward had rejoined SHIELD. Two months since he was back in Daisy Skye Johnson's life. Two months since people had put the past behind them and given him a fresh start. Two months since the most important person in Grant Ward's life had been actively avoiding him. Everyone had seemed to forgive him, even Simmons and Bobbi, but not her. Because Skye was stubborn and she had a grudge to hold and Ward could not blame her _. You broke her heart_ , Ward thought to himself. _Of course she wouldn't welcome you back with open arms. You're lucky she hasn't killed you in her sleep, God knows she is highly capable of it now._

And it's true, Skye, or Daisy as some now called her, was highly capable of knocking him onto his ass now. Ward had not been able to truly see Skye as she was since San Juan. Now that he got the chance to actually observe her and see her, he was able to notice all the little things. The bulges on her upper arms and lower legs from the newly acquired muscles received from the weeks of training with May, the once long hair that she had cut to conform to the life of a spy, the way her shoulders were now tense from the anticipation of another betrayal, and how she wouldn't be able to look at Ward in the eye without them flitting away and ignoring his presence. When he first came to the Playground, the look that Skye had given him clearly asked him, somewhat proudly, "Do you recognize me?"

The truth was, he didn't. He didn't recognize the woman, the agent, the leader, that stood in front of him. But in a way, he did. He recognized the fierceness in the way she stood, the way her eyes never wavered in the short amount of time she looked at him, the way he would feel when in her presence. But even when remembering the familiarities, he couldn't ignore how changed she was. _Well, it's been a year,_ Ward thinks, _it doesn't surprise me._

Now it was Christmas Eve, a holiday he dreaded from years of abuse and torture from the ones his blood claimed were family. He still wasn't able to look at Christmas ornaments without having a shiver run through his spine. _But now it will be different_ , he thinks determinably.

As he enters the crowded room, the first thing he sees are the tired eyes of his once old and now new friends. Hydra has been defeated with the help of his intel but there is still so much work to be done. There are the new Inhumans popping up all over the globe, a new enemy on the rise, and so much more to come in the near future. But this night was a night where everyone could forget their worries. SHIELD's Christmas Eve party was in full swing and most people seemed to be having a good time. It was nothing like the parties the organization would have back in its glory days but it was a start. And for a start, it wasn't bad.

"Here, mate. You look like you might need this." Hunter says as he presses a beer into Ward's hand.

When Ward first came onto the base, Hunter came close to killing him. And after what he did to Bobbi, Ward couldn't blame him. He didn't fight back against Hunter's fists but instead took it and told himself he deserved. After "the welcome wagon incident" as many around the base liked to call it, Hunter mainly avoided Ward. But once he realized how fragile and messed up Ward's mental health was, he became one of his closest friends. He never forgave him for the past, no one could, but he moved past it and decided to look to the future and that's what was important.

"No, thanks," Ward says, "I don't want to be fuzzy tonight." He remembered the way his father acted after his annual Christmas parties and would rather not be like that.

"Suit yourself." Hunter shrugged and took a swig from his own bottle.

As Ward's eyes roamed the room his heart soared at the sight that met him. In walked Skye alongside Lincoln and some members of her team. She was beautiful, even more so if it was possible. Skye's hair was in loose curls and she wore the red dress from the day when she first came onto the BUS. He remembered it like it was yesterday. As he stares at her, his mind drifts to the memories of the days with the old team.

"Mate," Hunters breaks his reverie, "You sure you still don't want that drink? Because it looks like you're going to need it." In response to Ward's look of confusion, he points his beer bottle in the direction of Skye.

When Ward finally regains his focus, he realizes that right under the mistletoe Skye and Lincoln are kissing.

Xx 12 Days of Skyeward xX

Grant Ward was back in her life. He was back and Skye didn't know how she felt about it let alone what she could do about it. On the one hand, there was the side of her that wanted to plunge a hole into the earth that lead to the pits of hell and throw the damn son of a bitch into it. On the other, there was the side of her that was _excited_ and maybe even a little bit giddy. The latter was one that she locked in the deepest parts of her soul where no one could ever know about it. She hoped.

So on the outside, she hated him. It was easier after all. Everything was easier than loving Grant Ward, Hydra traitor, murderer, monster, etc, etc, etc. She had heard people call him worse names. Rationalizing why she should hate him was a task that she never failed to complete. He betrayed her and everything dear to her, he dropped two of her closest friends into the ocean, he tortured another, she gave him her heart and he broke it and even kept the pieces. So yeah, hating Grant Ward's mere existence was easy.

But loving him wasn't exactly a challenge either. She loved the way his touch felt from when they used to train together, the way his brows would furrow in concentration when playing Battleship, the feeling of security she would get whenever he was near, how no matter what he protected her. _Stop it Skye_ , she yelled angrily at herself, _don't do this, not now._

Tonight was SHIELD's first special event since Hydra's reveal. Normally she would be ecstatic about events like this, living in a van didn't give you many social opportunities, but she couldn't be considered your bona fide normal person. She had seen war, heartache, been both the victim and handler of a gun, betrayal, things people should never experience. _So yes I'm going to go to this party and yes I'm going to enjoy myself because we have all earned this victory,_ Skye thought with conviction.

As Skye walks through the door with Lincoln and the rest of her team in tow, she is surrounded by a crowd of agents. No, they are not agents right now, they are a group of people hoping to replace their tired eyes with eyes that gleam of excitement and a newfound hope.

"Some party huh." Lincoln says whilst surveying the room.

"Yeah," Skye says breathlessly, "I haven't seen this many agents in the same room since before the Fall."

"Well in time there will be more," Lincoln says hopefully.

Skye's eyes scan the room, a habit picked up after months of being with SHIELD, and take in everyone. Coulson is talking to a few of senior agents that stayed with the organization, May is standing in the corner glaring at every male agent who dares to walk up to her (they all hope/dared to ask her to a dance in which her glare gave them her very clear answer), Fitzsimmons dancing awkwardly on the dance floor along with Bobbi, and Hunter and Ward standing off to the side talking. Ward….whenever she sees him Skye doesn't know what to do. Everyone around, apart from a select few, are under the impression that she despises him while she really knows she can't help but be in love with him. So she avoids him and hopes it's enough to get over him.

"Daisy," Lincoln says softly. Skye almost forgot that some of the newcomers refer to her by her birth name.

"Yeah."

"We're under mistletoe." Lincolns looks upwards to point to the green plant that was suspended to the ceiling.

Not after catching Ward in the corner of her eye, she thinks what the hell. Serves him right for everything he's ever done, revenge shouldn't have to go unnoticed. So Skye, still impulsive and stubborn as ever, grabs Lincoln by the collar and kisses him. The kiss is different per say. Lincoln is taken by surprise for he didn't expect Skye to kiss him with such ferocity so he attempts to slow down their mouths.

When they pull away Skye catches sight of Ward from the corner of her eye, who she is pleased to find, is staring at the two of them with a clench in his jaw.

"Daisy," Lincoln sighs, "I know what you're doing."

"I'm not doing anything." Skye's eyes whip around to face Lincoln.

"Daisy, I know when I'm being used." Lincoln says ruefully with a sad smile on his lips.

Skye looks down, shame burning her cheeks. "I'm sorry." And she is. Lincoln had been nothing but good to her and in return she used him so she could get a rise out of that damn bastard. "It's just-"

"I know." At Skye's look of surprise he quickly goes on, "I know how you feel about Ward. I see the way you look at him and the way he looks at you."

"Lincoln, I'm so sorry, I can expl—"

"No, if anything this my fault. Daisy, I knew when we started this that you had feelings for someone else. It's my fault for thinking that maybe I could change them to be directed towards me." His voice is genuine and sincere and it makes Skye want to scream. He is everything anyone could ever want, everything she once wanted, and she is throwing it all away. Into his face, nonetheless. And he is just letting her.

"Are you angry with me?"

Lincoln gives her another sad smile. "No, you find that when you love someone you never truly are angry at them." He pulls her into a hug and kisses her forehead gently.

"I do care about you Lincoln, that wasn't a lie." She whispers into his shoulder. It is not lost to her that everyone in the room probably thinks that they are having a romantic moment. She internally laughs at the irony.

"I know. And I'm grateful for that."

Xx 12 Days of Skyeward xX

The rest of the party passes by in a blur. "You find that when you love someone you never truly are angry with them" repeats over and over and over in her head. Before she knows it the party is over and everyone is stumbling back to their bunks.

When she gets to her own, she paces back and forth across the floor, a war waging inside her head.

So she may or may not be in love with Grant Ward. But she hates Grant Ward. Or at least, she should hate him. _But what if you don't_ , Skye wonders, _what if you don't really hate him, what if you just want to hate him?_

You are perfectly justified in hating him, she reminds herself, the things he has done are unforgiveable. Dropping Fitzsimmons in the ocean, torturing Bobbi, killing all those people, betraying the team, betraying her…..

But the pod was supposed to float. And Bobbi wasn't exactly innocent, she sold out Agent 33. In some twisted way, Ward was helping her. Even though their actions were not of the best intent (Skye laughs, what an understatement) Agent 33-Kara-got closure. Last time she spoke to Ward over the phone she on a tropical island somewhere finding out who she was without any shady government organization to be affiliated with.

 _But he's killed people, he's a murderer,_ the stubborn part of her brain reminds her. But the small voice in the back of her head that sounds vaguely like Grant Ward whispers, _but so are you. So is everyone at SHIELD. We are no different. Someday you'll understand._

Skye lets out a groan of frustration. Because she does understand, she understands now why Ward did all the things he did and how terrible she and everyone else had been to him about it.

Of course Grant had chosen to try and save Garrett, he was the closest thing to a father he had ever had. It still ate at her soul that when she had finally given him her heart he had given it away to Garrett, nonetheless, but hadn't she done the same?

 _He gave you his heart too and you crushed it by locking him away. And your mother was your own John Garrett who sucked you in and manipulated you and it worked. You betrayed SHIELD just like he did, no matter how brief it was. And it's not like Coulson isn't your father figure. You would walk to the ends of the earth for him. Yet you weren't punished for any of it, so why was Grant?_

Skye vaguely wonders what it would be like if Coulson had found Grant first.

Against her better judgment, Skye pulls out a bottle of alcohol she has snatched from the party earlier. The drink leaves a trail of fire down her throat and settles into her belly with a satisfying heat.

 _You find that when you love someone you are never truly angry with them…_

 _Someday, Skye, you'll understand…_

And Skye realizes something about herself that puts all the pieces into place.

With the alcohol in her veins fueling her with courage she never knew she had, she storms out of her room and goes to the door she had been avoiding for two months and knocks loudly.

After half a minute, Grant opens the door tense, waiting for an attack.

"Skye?" Realizing it is just her, he relaxes slightly. Skye can't help but notice that he looks at her as if he doesn't quite believe that she is at his door. It warms her insides that he still says her old name like a prayer. On one of the few interactions they had, she asked him why he refused to call her by her new name. To which he replied that "You will always be Skye to me."

"Can I come in?"

"Of course, Skye are you alright?" Ward's eyes never leave her when she steps into his room. He did not fail to notice the slight smell of whiskey that stuck to the natural smell of her skin.

"I just realized something." She begins with no preamble. "I love you."

Ward doesn't know what to say. The love of his life loves him back. Of course he hoped and dreamed and hoped some more that one day Skye would return his feelings but after seeing her and Lincoln he lost all of his hopes. But the slight smell of alcohol ruins it and he forces to tell himself that it's just the drink talking and that she doesn't even know what she is saying.

"Skye," He steps closer to her and the smell of drink becomes a little bit stronger. "I think you've had too much to drink, let me take you back to your bunk."

"No," Skye interrupts adamantly, "I'm fine, Ward." And because her voice sounds sober and he can't bear to see her leave he lets her go on. "I love you."

"You've said that." Grant smiles a little bit even though he tries his hardest not to let himself believe it. _She was with Lincoln earlier, it's the alcohol talking_ , he says anything to save himself the heartbreak of learning that she might not mean it.

"But that's not what I realized," She goes on as if he didn't say anything, "I realized that I don't hate you, all this time I loved you, and I still love you so much. I just never said it because I hated myself."

"Skye-"

"No, Ward, I need to finish." Her voice wavers slightly and tears start to prick her eyes. "I hated myself because I couldn't find it in myself to hate you. And I wanted to hate you so much for everything that you've done to SHIELD and to me but I couldn't! And I didn't know why until tonight."

A lone tear drops from her eye and falls down to her cheek. And because Grant can't stand to see her cry he moves closer until he is right in front of her and gently wipes away the offending tear with his thumb. Skye closes her eyes and sighs as she leans into his touch because _oh how she's missed him_.

"I understand, Grant." She whispers.

"But you and Lincoln-"

"Are no more. We never really had anything romantic between us because I was always in love with you. It's always been you." She tells him sincerely.

"But Grant," Her voice comes out sounding scared, "Don't hurt me again. I don't think I could take it, not again."

"I promise I will never ever hurt you again. I love you, Skye, so much." And to convince her that he is never letting her go again and he will spend the rest of his life if need be to prove it to her, he pulls her into a kiss.

And in that moment she knew, she gave her heart to someone special and wouldn't change that for the world.


End file.
